


Love is Hard for a Human Otaku

by Gemlettuce



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Chatlogs, Comedy, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, K-pop References, Manga & Anime, Mild Sexual Content, Parody, References to Canon, References to Video Games, References to anime, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, Spin Off, Tsunderes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28264752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemlettuce/pseuds/Gemlettuce
Summary: A sort of spin off in the POV of my OC from my current ongoing longfic "Love is Hard for A Demon Otaku" (Which is mostly from Leviathans POV)It had been a quiet life for Emilia, stuck in her room 24/7 with endless anime, manga and games to play, but no friends due to her social anxiety. One day she wakes up in literal hell and meets a cast of attractive demon men, but could there be more in store when she starts a fast forming friendship with the otaku demon Leviathan?More comedy focused than my main fic.
Relationships: Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Leviathan/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Kudos: 14





	1. Misunderstandings

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Love is Hard for a Demon Otaku](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24177916) by [Gemlettuce](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemlettuce/pseuds/Gemlettuce). 



The lightning crackled and roared outside the study. The wind howled like a banshee as a large handsome man with golden eyes, chocolate brown hair and a warm smile held his hand out towards a small, frail looking girl with huge blue-green eyes as deep as the ocean. Long obsidian coloured hair flowed down to her waist like a gothic waterfall. She was wearing a hooded cloak pulled down, it was long and black with golden etchings on the rim of it.

“And that’s everything you need to know...Oh and my name is Lord Diavolo but you may refer to me as The Handsome Demon Prince, My Lord or just Diavolo..but only when I’m not on duty” he tittered in a friendly tone. “During your stay here in the Devildom I’d like you to get to know a friend of mine. You may come in now, Lucifer!” The friendly figure rose to his feet and stepped over towards the door of his office and Emilia noticed he dwarfed her own small-scale height. 

_Lucifer?! Isn’t that the name for the Devil?_

Emilia’s heart almost stopped as a gloved hand slid around the frame of the door and an equally attractive man stepped towards her, he had jet black hair and crimson eyes that burned into her very soul like laser beams, taking note of her fearful expression as he met her line of sight.“There’s no need to be nervous Emilia..my brothers and I may be demons but I’ll see to it that no harm comes to you during your stay here.” He said in a reassuring tone.

_B-brothers? Do demons have families?_

“O-oh okay...thank you..?” She managed to squeak out, her voice was still a little scratchy as it was rarely used back in the human realm. The raven haired human instantly regretted speaking to the terrifying demon in such a casual manner and lowered her head in respect, stammering out an apology. “I-I’m s-sorry m-my lord, I..I humbly appreciate what you’re doing for someone like me and I am v-very grateful.”

To her surprise the tall red eyed man chuckled, albeit with a small smirk on his lips. He had been rather amused by the humans reaction and as the Avatar of Pride Lucifer felt flattered by her, at the very least she seemed to understand he was to be treated with the respect he so very much wished his brothers would shower him with. 

“There’s no need to call _me_ Lord, Emilia.” he chuckled, the smirk still very much apparent “I’m not a Demon Prince, nor are my brothers although some of them certainly wished they were.” Lucifer eyed the small human girl, wondering why on earth someone as brilliant as a ruler like Diavolo had chosen someone that looked so..timid. 

He glanced over towards her luggage, it was lacking. Just one small purple suitcase that looked like it could only hold a few weeks worth of clothes. Odd, he thought to himself. “Well we should leave Lord Diavolo alone with his paperwork now, come on. I’ll help you get settled in.” Lucifer gestured to the door and placed a palm on the girls back as he led her out of the large office.

_I wish they wouldn't refer to me as Emilia but..it'd be awkward to tell them now._

“Yes, my apologies. Work creeps up on me these days!” Diavolo called out to them as Lucifer closed the door over. “Take care Emilia, we’ll talk again soon once you're more settled! Oh and don’t worry about your things, I’ll have Barbatos send them up to your room after the feast.”

_H-hang on..._

_F-f-feast? A-are they going to eat_ **_me?_ **

Once they were out of sight the Demon Prince giggled to himself as he grabbed a large black file from under his desk. “She’s exactly how Barbatos described her, well here’s to a hopefully successful year!”.  
  


* * *

_Oh my god they’re going to eat me… my room is going to be like a cage isn’t it? But why would they send for my stuff unless I don’t know, they’re going to keep all my things like a t-trophy or something._

She’d only just arrived a few hours ago.To be honest she was unsure when, the Devildom wasn’t like the human realm. It was endless darkness, rain or thunder and she’d had to ask Diavolo countless times what the current time was. He had laughed after perhaps the 50th time and presented her with something he called a D.D.D, it wouldn’t be operational until her enrollment but it would help, as soon as he had passed it to her Emilia couldn’t help but notice it resembled a mobile phone.

The potential human sacrifice tapped her pocket where the DDD was nestled. 

_Why would they give me a phone if I’m going to be eaten? Unless...this is like The Pledged Neverland and they’re trying to lure me into a false sense of security._

Lucifer frowned as they walked, the girl was ridiculously quiet and she still seemed on edge about something. Perhaps he shouldn’t have touched her so casually? Humans always had been fickle and flighty creatures to him. The silence was deafening and he cleared his throat to help explain a few things to her. “There are six of us living in the House of Lamentation. I am the Avatar of Pride, the oldest brother. Mammon the idiot is the second oldest and the Avatar of Greed, you’ll meet him soon enough. Leviathan the shut in...” A small laugh escaped. “Though I suppose you won’t have to worry about him, he never comes out of that room and always skips out on our feasts..he represents Envy.” She once again flinched at the word ‘feast’, but Lucifer took a breath and continued. “The lee- I mean Satan, my younger...brother is a bit of a bookworm and is the Avatar of Wrath. Asmodeus may be a little..taken with you at first, but don’t worry. I’ll see to it he doesn’t put any advances on you, if you’re familiar with the sins then you’ll know he is Lust. And lastly, Beelzebub. Everything is about food to him...Gluttony..”

Emilia laughed nervously, not really paying attention to anything the intimidating demon had said, if she had then it probably would’ve struck her a little curious as to how there were seven deadly sins, not six.

Her nerves increased tenfold as they stepped into the Houses main entrance. Two enormous stone dragons mirrored each other on both sides of a grand looking staircase, red carpet oozing throughout the building. The mysterious girl craned her neck up towards the ceiling, portraits of strange looking creatures littered the walls around them and as lover of the occult she couldn’t help but think that if she were to die in this place, she’d die a happy goth.

From the furthest reaches of her hearing Emilia thought she heard a distant humming and a somewhat familiar tune…

_Is that...K-pop?_

_No, I must be mistaken. Why on earth or...wherever I am would demons listen to something like KPOP?!_

She exhaled shakily as they both made their way up the grand staircase, a few turns later and they had reached their final destination. A battered wooden door stood at the bottom of the corridor and directly opposite was a large red, pristine looking door. But her eyes trailed directly ahead, a spiralling cobblestone staircase snaked around and she couldn’t help but wonder where it led, or perhaps that was where the demons were going to hold her captive?

Lucifer raised an eyebrow in concern hearing her gulp and followed her field of vision towards the staircase. Perhaps it hadn’t been the best idea to place her in this particular corridor, but he had wanted to make sure he was nearby if she needed him. He coughed, hoping it would divert her attention from the curiosity of the unknown and strode to the right, stopping just outside the worn out looking door. 

_Wait, we’re not going up the creepy staircase? Oh._

The handsome man flashed his eyes at her as he creaked the door open slowly. “This..is where you’ll be staying. You may request anything my budget will allow, well anything I deem appropriate.” 

She cautiously approached the room, expecting chains and a feeding bowl much like a dog or a prisoner would have in some sort of medieval dungeon but her breath hitched and Lucifer looked down at her in confusion. “I know it’s not in the best condition but I can assure the handy demons did a more than acceptable job of making it liveable for you. At least for a year.” 

Emilia stared up at him with a puzzled expression, those pool like eyes searching for any deception or form of trickery. He was a demon after all. “Where...where’s the cage? The shackles?” was all she could mumble out.

The normally stoic demons lip quivered and he matched the girl in her confusion now, she seemed to be full of surprises. “Cage? Shackles…?” It always was the quiet ones that were the..most adventurous, he thought to himself as memories of catching his shut-in brother watching unspeakable things flooded his brain. “I’m afraid I don’t understand...did you...want those sort of things in your room?” This human would get along well with his brother Asmodeus, the Avatar of Lust, which he wasn’t exactly sure was a good thing right now.

The room in question was a bare looking one, but rather normal. There were four walls that were in dire need of a lick of paint, hairline cracks in the wall and as she inhaled Emilia confirmed that it was a little damp smelling. But being from England she was more than used to the stench of rain, it’d help her feel a little more at home for the time being. She tuned back into the demon's question at just the right moment. “N-no! Of course not!” she croaked out. “I just..I thought maybe you were going to keep me prisoner in here…”

Lucifer harrumphed and a wide smirk once more washed over his face. “You’re our guest Emilia, not our meal. Hah, I was wondering why you were so quiet, when Lord Diavolo mentioned the feast….you thought we were THOSE sort of demons didn’t you? The ones you learn about in the human realm, in your churches and bibles and the like.”

“W-well..uhh..” the shy human squeaked, not really knowing how to answer that. Instead she opted for flattery once more and bowed gracefully, lowering her head so much it almost touched the floor. “T-thank you for the room, and I’m r-really glad there’s no cage!”

_Ugh...so I overthought things again? They’re NOT going to eat me…_

_And great..now he probably thinks I’m into all sorts of l-lewd things._

_Nice going Em._

Once more the coal haired demon chuckled lightly. “Are you sure? If you would feel comfortable in a cage I could certainly arrange one.” Lucifer was beginning to regret accepting a human into his House, it would be an intriguing year that’s for certain.

The girl shrunk into her cloak again, cringing at the prospect that Lucifer now thought she was a lewd sort of human. But the truth was she was a virgin and had never even had a boyfriend let alone her first kiss yet, she would have to set things straight as soon as possible. “I-I’m sure! I didn’t...mean…”

He scoffed. “Of course you didn’t.” the smirk only grew. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to get settled. Barbatos will bring your bedsheets and other...human things. Ah you’ll need some sunlight tablets too.” The slender demon reached into his pocket and produced a jar of tablets. “Here, just one a day during your stay here and you shouldn’t feel fatigued due to the lack of vitamin D.”

Emilia couldn’t help but laugh at the image of a big scary handsome demon passing her some daily vitamins, she certainly hadn’t expected to be receiving medicine from the head of the house. But she timidly accepted the jar, after confirming it was indeed safe to ingest the paranoid girl would ensure to take it daily, no sun meant her body would be starved of energy, and without any energy she wouldn’t be able to play her games, read her manga or have any strength to watch her animé shows. “Oh..t-thank you, I-I actually took these in the human realm..for...reasons.”

_I was a shut-in NEET in the human realm but I’m not about to tell anyone that, these demons would surely look down on me even more._

“Right well, I’ll see you at dinner.” Lucifer laughed dryly. “Where you will not be our main course, unless you misbehave or make trouble for me during your stay.” He bowed once and then closed the door over on himself leaving the girl all alone with her thoughts. 

She sighed and flumped down on the bare mattress, her hair splayed out like a splash of black paint and then suddenly her DDD buzzed. “Oh weird...it started working!” the girl grabbed the device from her pocket and saw a familiar name.

_The prince of hell has texted me...that’s hilarious now I think about it._

Diavolo: Hello Emilia! I’ve activated your DDD now, all of the brothers are already on your contacts list so no need to worry about adding them, I’ll see you tomorrow before your orientation. :)

Em: Oh thank you so much your majesty, I really appreciate it! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

Diavolo: No need for the formalities on here haha, just Diavolo is fine! 

Diavolo: Don’t hesitate to message me if there’s any trouble with the brothers, they’re all remarkable gentlemen I can assure you, but they’re also not the most trusting of humans.

_And you thought it’d be a good idea to have me..a human stay with them?_

_I guess I’d better head down to the feast… It’s just scary to think that there are six d-demons down there, Lucifer seemed nice..strict but nice. I get serious dad vibes from him._

_I just hope my anxiety doesn’t flare up. I’m alright one on one but...in a group? You can barely get a word out of me._

After arching her back lethargically and forcing her body to stand up she sighed and made her way down to the dinner hall, taking note of the route and all of the bizarre looking portraits on the walls; they must have been the houses previous residents, demon lords or royals? Did demons have much in terms of politics? Were there demon governments or just Lord Diavolo? She had so many questions and she couldn’t wait to dig into the lore if they happened to have a library.

* * *

“And ya thought it was a brilliant idea to stick me with the human? Thanks a lot Lucifer… is this cuz I sold your favourite record? It’s payback ain’t it!” A low voice with a thick accent protested, he had tanner skin than the rest of his brothers, white silver hair that stuck up and resting on top of his head were a pair of tinted shades. 

Lucifer rolled his eyes and sucked air, balancing his head against his palm looking fed up already. “Oh don’t whine Mammon, I did this because I trust you will ensure no harm comes to her, if it does it’ll be on _your_ head after all….Beelzebub can you show a little more pride with the way you eat tonight, the girl was half scared to death thinking we were going to be feasting on her and you crunching void chicken bones isn’t exactly helping is it?”

“Hey I’m not changing my eating habits because of some human…”Perhaps the deepest voice of the brothers grunted, Beelzebub was built like a tank, his mandarin hair was spiky and unkempt and he had his amethyst eyes locked on to his next target, a plate of large cheeseburgers. “She’ll just have to get used to it or maybe I _will_ eat her!” The sleeves of his indigo parka jacket were rolled back in case he got grease on his favourite outfit, however his dark coloured pants already had splashes of sauce on them.

A smaller demon with an almost feminine, yet seductive tone laughed. He had champagne coloured hair and salmon coloured eyes and he was clicking his two toned blue and pink nails in boredom, more than anything he was looking forward to seeing this oh so famous human Lucifer had met. “Ooooh Beel I wouldn’t say something like that, it could easily be misunderstood..if it wasn’t your actual intention that is hahah!~”

A boyish giggle echoed throughout the corridor, he barely looked up from his DDD as he spoke, his indigo bangs draped over his sight and it was a miracle he was able to see anything with those amber eyes at all. “LOL she actually thought that? Humans are so stupid!” There was a small pause as realization struck. “W-wait..SHE? Why didn’t anyone mention the human was a g-g-girl. Ugh great, and I bet she’s a normie too!” 

He’d heard enough of this already, it was distracting him from playing one of his favourite games so the yellow-teal and black headphones around his neck were swiftly thrown back on over his ears as he cranked up his Spoopify tunes.

“Well if ya came out of your room once in a while and talked to us then we woulda told ya!” Mammon rolled his blue eyes at his younger brother, the first time he had come out of his room to join them for dinner in weeks, no months and he was already whining.

“Oh shut up Levi, as long as she’s cute I couldn’t care less if she were human, demon or even whatever Beelzebub has on his plate right there... So spill the tea Lucifer, is she~?” The lustful demon edged closer in.

“Don’t tell me to shut up! Wow is this really how you’re going to treat me after you all begged me to turn up tonight?” The otaku spat, glaring at Asmodeus who was pretending he didn’t hear him, along with everyone else who just focused their talk on the elephant in the room, or rather the human in their care.

“For a human I suppose she isn’t the worst I’ve seen.” Lucifer spoke in a monotone voice. “I hope I don’t need to remind you Asmodeus that the human is off limits..although maybe she’s the one I need to remind after what she said earlier.” He chuckled as the other brothers feigned interest, however the smaller brother was all ears now. 

“What do you mean by that Luci, don’t be a tease~” 

Lucifer sighed and rubbed his temple. “When I showed her to her room she seemed surprised and then looked me straight in the eyes and asked where the cage and shackles were…” He glanced over to take in everyones reactions, Satan was still deeply engrossed in his novel but he had a small smile on his face and his eyebrows were raised, Levi’s pupils were the size of dots and his face matched that of the bottle of ketchup next to him, unfortunately his song had ended just as his oldest brother had shared the information. Beelzebub held his burger absently as the fillings dropped out onto the plate, Mammon just folded his arms looking confused meanwhile Asmodeus looked about ready to pounce.

“Well, well well.. I’m REALLY excited to meet her now! What does she look like? You haven’t told us anything..” he pouted. “Does she wear makeup? What are her measurements? Does she have a nice ass? I need to know details!”

“Heh Asmo’s askin' all the right questions now, go on Lucifer, spill!” Mammon beamed as he poured himself a glass of demonus and sipped with much gusto. “‘And of course I won’t do anythin’, everyone knows witches are better in the sack. Ain’t that right...Levi…?” He smirked at his shut-in brother, it was common knowledge in the house that Leviathan was still a virgin and showed absolutely no interest in getting laid...in the physical realm at least and all of the brothers liked to tease him for his innocent nature.

“Aaaaand a comment about my virginity, you’re so predictable Mammon. I don’t even have the energy to entertain you today, I just woke up after watching all three seasons of Underlord...speaking of predictable, I’m guessing you still don’t have that grimm that you owe me, do you?” Levi grit his teeth, Mammon always knew exactly what to say to get under his skin, but he tried to act aloof in fear of being seen as pathetic for getting upset about such a casual teasing comment. 

“I don’t really care about things like that, besides I’m saving myself for Ruri-chan. Maybe I’ll even get married to her someday, oh oh! And even live in Japan! That’d be amazing!” He beamed and turned the volume as high as it would go to drown his brothers out, and now muffled j-pop was blaring through the hall. Ruri-chan was Levi’s waifu, a curvaceous demoness with long brown hair and purple eyes, she was the main character from an animé he watched. She didn’t exist but that didn’t stop his fantasies and delusions.

All of the other brothers groaned, for the last thirty years of their existence every single day Leviathan would bring up Ruri-chan in conversation. He’d stumbled on the realm of animé by chance thanks to the progression of technology in recent years and sadly it had engulfed him over time. He had always been an introvert and hated the company of others but the more he got involved with animé, manga and video games the worse he’d become, even going as far as taking his lessons remotely from the confines of his own room.

Lucifer glared at the two brothers for asking such rude and disgusting questions. “If you two ask me anything like that ever again I will remove both of your heads and hang them in my office as decorations, **understood**?” He flashed his crimson eyes at them like daggers and both inappropriate demons froze in place and gulped. “And Levi, I know you’d have absolutely no chance with her anyway but I will warn you too, do not do anything to sully our reputation with Diavolo or you will be joining these two above my fireplace.”

“O-of course..I was only joking anyway!” Asmodeus giggled nervously and fidgeting in his white collared jacket, playing with the black scarf that hung loosely around his shoulders. “ _I’ll just take a peek when she isn’t looking later~_ ” he muttered under his breath. 

Mammon said nothing and just shrunk into his brown leather jacket as he chugged his wine down, trying to ignore the threat and Levi sighed; he was stuck in a boss fight right now and everyone kept throwing him off his concentration. The other two brothers were the only quiet ones tonight, Beel was enjoying his own personal buffet and couldn’t speak with so much food stuffed in his mouth, and Satan was much like Levi and preferred peace and quiet, however that didn’t mean they got on well besides a few scattered movie nights here and there.

“Satan, you’re awfully quiet tonight. Enjoying the show are we?” Lucifer sneered towards the blonde haired bookworm opposite him, who had turned his chair so he faced away from him, it was a petty thing to do but Satan enjoyed getting under his brother's skin like this in many little obnoxious ways.

“Actually, I care much more about the woman who went missing on a camping trip with her husband more than I care about anything that you have to say, dearest brother.” He scoffed as he flicked through the pages nonchalantly, hoping his comment would wind his brother up a little.

“Watch your tongue, leech. I can always sew you back onto my body where you belong, although the thought disgusts me.” Lucifer grimaced, he wasn’t just being dramatic; Satan had been created when he had tore his wings off his own back after the brothers were cast out of the celestial realm by their father, the rage of being exiled had willed Satan into existence and all of the brothers had shaped him into the demon he was in present day. “Anyway where in Devildom is that girl...maybe someone should go and fetch her.”

“Ooooh I’ll do it, I’ll do it! If it means getting to be alone with her, maybe we can even slip somewhere quiet before we join you~” Asmodeus’ eyes turned hungry and he licked his lips in delight.

Mammon sighed and shrugged. “Ya..ya ain't even met the human and you’re already droolin’ over her? Man, Asmo..y-you’re somethin’ else.” After a collective agreement of nods across the table at the thirsty nature of the Avatar of Lust, the white haired demon started cutting into his devil pork steak.

“In human terminology I believe Asmodeus would be referred to as...a simp.” Satan smirked and flicked his golden hair, his emerald eyes still fixed on the crime novel in his hand. Levi’s mouth curled into a small smile and he giggled at the term but carried on mashing buttons. The other brothers just raised an eyebrow each, it was obviously another stupid internet meme from the human realm and they were surprised to hear of their more intelligent brother partaking in such silly terms. But Satan craved knowledge, he thrived on knowing everything there possibly was to learn about the subjects he cared about. Knowledge was power.

“What the hell is a simp? Is it something...sexual?” Asmo frowned and tilted his head at the word, then glanced over to Leviathan who was still smiling but shared no interest in educating his sibling on what Satan refused to expand on. “Anyway I’ll see you later, I’m off to go grab the human~”. He giggled and slid his chair out as he hopped to his feet.

An authoritative voice caused him to freeze before he could even move a muscle. “ **Don’t even think of it, you can’t be trusted Asmodeus** ..” Lucifer scanned everyone across the table before ultimately deciding on the best choice.” **Mammon** ! You’re starting your human watching duties a day earlier, _congratulations_.” he laughed in a dry tone and crossed his arms in satisfaction.

When Diavolo had approached him the previous day as they made last minute preparations for the exchange year Lucifer had chosen his younger brother as the human girls guide during her time with them all; he had secretly hoped that a bit of responsibility would knock some common sense into him and he would stop his thieving, lying and scheming, surely it couldn’t hurt to attempt to rehabilitate his brother, even if he hadn’t even asked or wanted the help.

“Ehhh?! Why can’t ya just go yourself or...send Levi I dunno!” The tanned demon pointed at his more than occupied otaku sibling and sighed in defeat, it was useless trying to get Leviathan of all demons to be sociable. “Fine. I’ll do ya damned babysitting service.” He stood up slowly and rolled his eyes towards his brothers. “I’ll be back with the human asap so don’t let Beel eat my food.”

* * *

“Makin’ me go and grab the girl, tsk...why’s it always gotta be me doin’ the dirty work eh?” Mammon muttered to himself as he stomped down the corridors, the demon maids all rolled their eyes as he tracked his large boot prints in the freshly vacuumed carpet. “I bet all my grimm that greedy ass has already eaten my food..”

Little did he know someone else was also snaking their way down the hall, the lone human girl had gotten lost on her way to dinner and was just ambling her way around the different rooms, the place was almost like a maze. A few of the staff tried to approach her but they weren’t exactly human, so Emilia had darted away from them and gave the impression that she’d find it herself.

_Maybe I should just head back to my room… I don’t want to have to contact anyone or come off like a burden to them..._

_I’ve barely been here a day and here I am causing trouble for them.._

As she turned the corner, a little sigh escaped from her lips and from the corner of her eye she saw a white mess of spiked hair. That had been enough of an indication for the figure to turn her way and make eye contact, all Emilia saw were two striking azure eyes piercing into hers before she bolted. “O-OI!” The stranger called out after her but she turned heel and ran down the long hallway, hearing the sound of boots charging towards her, the buckles clanging together as they picked up speed.

“WAAAAIT, I’VE COME TO GET YA!” The voice called out to her, huffing from the lack of breath as they bounded through the maze-like home. Mammon's lack of context was certainly not helping the situation, and just causing her even more fear. Her heart was pumping at max velocity, almost giving up the ghost completely after that short burst of adrenaline.

_Oh my god, oh my god, I’m going to die!_

_They lied to me, this really is some sort of hunting ground!_

It was no good, her legs weren’t used to this much exercise and they were starting to ache, her lungs were practically burning. There was a small crevice behind a small set of steps, the perfect hideout for someone her height, she threw herself into the hiding spot and clasped her hands over her mouth as Mammon approached. “Hah..Hah...hoo boy Lucifer’s gonna kill me, I mean if that were possible...where did she go? She couldn’t have gotten far!” He mumbled to himself, unaware his monologue was being listened to. “..Whatever, if she starves it’s not my fault! I tried!” 

The exhausted demon sighed and stomped back down the corridor, the clinking of the boots faded into the distance gradually. She’d survived her encounter with the demon, but couldn’t help but be confused about what he meant by her starving, weren’t they the ones who’d starve if she didn’t turn up? Well, it was probably safe to crawl out now.

There wasn’t any sign of movement as she peered her eyes down the dark, gloomy looking corridor. Crackles of fire burning from medieval looking torches were the only source of light as she crept back the way she came. However the serene silence was soon broken. 

“GOTCHA!” Emilia felt hands grab her from behind and she screamed at the top of her lungs, whilst flailing around to shake whoever had her in their clutches. “WOAH, WOAH Calm down! I’m not tryin’ ta hurt ya!” 

_Huh?_

She swivelled her head around and towering over her was a platinum haired man looking rather concerned. “Damn yer a lively thing...Look. I’m not happy about comin’ to find ya either, but there’s no reason to run off and then scream like I’m about to eat ya or somethin’” He shrugged his shoulders, the leather jacket squeaked from the sweat he’d produced in chasing her. Of course she’d been seen diving into the hiding spot, Mammon just bided his time and waited until she crept out, he may be stupid but sometimes on rare ocassions, he got ideas.

“Y-you mean...you’re..not going to e-eat me?” Well now she was feeling incredibly foolish, had the entire chase been nothing but a misunderstanding? “B-but w-why did you chase me!”

The white haired demon looked at her bemused for a second, blinking his eyes in disbelief. “Why did I chase ya? Well cuz ya ran away from me in the first place!” He huffed and crossed his arms whilst rolling his eyes. It really was trouble looking after a good for nothing human, she hadn’t even met the others yet and she was already causing him so much grief. “I don’t know how ya got into your tiny brain that we were gonna eat ya but no, I prefer real food like scorpions and netherburgers. Now are ya gonna stand there wastin’ away or d’ya wanna join us and get some grub? Don’t worry...there’s human food too.”

“I...y-yes...I’ll go with you.” She sighed defeatedly as he led her towards the dinner hall, as they inched closer Emilia heard arguing, followed by a familiar deep voice and then laughter. 

_It sounds like a proper family get-together in there, a bit boisterous but then, they are d-demons.._

_And brothers._

He noticed she’d gotten quiet all of a sudden, as soon as the misunderstanding had cleared up the girl had all but stopped talking to him and they’d walked almost in silence. “Oh! By the way, I’m Mammon, the Avatar of Greed. And _I guess_ I’m like your personal guide.Thanks to my wonderful brother.” He spat out in a sarcastic tone and opened the door to the dinner area. “Anyway, come on. I promise no-one's gonna eat ya.” Except maybe Beel, but he wouldn’t dare tell her that information right now, not with how terrified she’d been; it almost made him feel bad for the poor creature.

As they stepped forward into the room everyone else stopped eating and turned their heads to face the small human girl who’d finally made it to dinner. Asmodeus prepared a smolder but Mammon glared at him, telling him with his eyes not to frighten her anymore. The glutton brother grinned toothily at her, showing all his teeth, fangs included covered in what looked like and what she hoped was BBQ sauce, which made her cower and hide behind Mammon. Satan simply nodded in acknowledgement, quickly scanning her physique in silent appreciation, she certainly wasn’t the worst looking human but his crime novel was begging for more attention and his emerald eyes shifted their attention back into the pages. 

Next to the blonde bookworm was an empty chair, strange; there were supposed to be six demon brothers, so why were there eight chairs here? 

_Wait there’s only five of them… there’s another empty chair there._

Lucifer examined the girl from behind his newspaper, it seemed he’d underestimated the intelligence of a human. He hadn't thought to remove one of the chairs from the table, the other brothers would’ve asked too many questions. “Ah Emilia, you finally made it, I trust my brother didn’t cause you any trouble?” His eyes shot towards Mammon, turning cold and unforgiving.

_Come on...you can do this…. You’ve already spoken to Lucifer and met him_

_But...w-with all these other faces looking at me, i-it’s hard._

_And they’ll all call me Emilia..I really prefer Em but I didn’t want to correct anyone._

Speaking from behind the second oldest sibling presented a bit of a challenge for the other brothers to hear her tiny, timid voice trying its hardest to speak out.“N-n-no...h-he...didn’t.”

Beelzebub stopped eating, which was a surprise and glanced over to his brothers with a quizzical expression on his face and mouthed. ‘What’s up with her?’

Lucifer sighed audibly and dismissed him, silently gesturing towards a stray burger that had been left carelessly by Leviathan before he’d left. He hadn’t been able to stick around to meet this oh so famous human and nor did he want to, after a lot of arguing and threats from his oldest brother, Levi had simply gotten up and vacated the area whilst they were all distracted. 

Asmodeus didn’t seem to get the message, or rather he just completely ignored it and he launched himself across the room at full speed, the running footsteps causing Em to cower in fear again, gripping tighter against Mammons jacket. With every clench of her tiny hands, and the shuddering sensation of her fear against him, he’d battled it out in his head and tried to fight it but at the end of the day, he wanted to protect this girl. “Asmo, get back in ya seat. We’re coming over now anyway.” He constricted his fist as a warning, signalling to his brother to stay back or he’d regret it.

“Oh come on, I just wanted to get a good lo- I-I mean I wanted to greet our guest properly, and more politely!” Feeling Lucifer's gaze cast against the back of his head resulted in a drastic left turn of his wording, and his heart rate slowed down hearing a satisfied “hmph” from behind him.

“Yeah yeah, well you can talk to her AFTER she’s eaten ‘kay?” The tanned demon glanced at his brothers, there was one missing who had been there just ten minutes ago before he’d left. “Eh? Where’s Levi. Oh you know what...I already know. Did he go back to his room to watch his crap?”

_His crap? What sort of things do demons watch?_

_Rituals? Summonings? ...p-porn?_

“Indeed.” Lucifer spoke, more than annoyed at how Levi had just snuck off even after being told and ordered to stay to at the very least say hello to Emilia. “That **idiot** thought he could outsmart me, and he disappeared while I had my back turned.” He tilted his head to catch the girls eye and met her gaze, just about whilst speaking through gritted teeth. “My apologies on my stupid brothers behalf Emilia, he was supposed to be here.” 

_Come on, you’re being stupid now. Remember what she said, just imagine it’s a one on one interaction and block the others out._

Emilia let go of the back of the leather aviator jacket and stepped out so her entire body was finally unveiled as she finally took her place at the table along with Mammon, who gestured towards a small plate of human food. 

She piled whatever was on the selection for a human and devoured it with little effort.

Lucifer, Mammon and Satan just stared at her in shock, meanwhile Asmodeus’ jaw dropped to the floor as he glared at every inch of her with his own sort of hunger seeping through him, unable to fathom how she had **THAT** figure paired with **THAT** appetite. Beelzebub couldn’t care less what her figure was like but smiled again at her proudly, admiring the tenacity and pleasure she seemed to feel when eating. 

Perhaps humans weren’t as bad as he’d initially thought, he finished off the last of Levi’s burger and swallowed with purpose. “Damn, that was good..are we having dessert soon?” 

_D-dessert? But you just ate that huge burger, and you’ve got 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9….14 empty plates stacked up next to you!_

_Ohhhh you must be Beelzebub, the Avatar of Glutton. It would make sense._

“Y-you m-must be..Beelzebub.”

“Hmm?” The gluttons gemstone like eyes flashed across to her in surprise, her voice really was tiny, just like her. “You must be Emilia, I’ve got something really important to ask you!” His face turned serious and hardened as he stared into her eyes. “What’s your favourite food, your favourite brand oh and do you have any allergies?” 

She couldn’t help but giggle to herself and had to hide her amused smile as she made eye contact with the scary, but extremely gentle redhead across from her. “M-my favourite is… pepperoni pizza..stuffed crust..with BBQ sauce, b-but if I’m honest...I’m a real foodie and there aren’t a lot of foods that I don’t like. Except, maybe coconut.” The allergy question was a tough one, as far as she was aware she didn’t have any so answered him honestly. “I’m not sure if I do have any allergies oh and food brand? Uhh I love MacuDolans"

Beelzebub rested his head on his extremely large hand, he already liked this girl, sure she happened to be human but her love of food had won him over. “That’s a good answer! I actually really love human realm pizza, they serve it in Hells Kitchen. Oh! You should come with me sometime!”

“Eh, you’re going on a date with her already? Well that’s not fair!” Asmo whined, he had already called first dibs on her, whether Lucifer would allow it or not.

_Leviathan was the shut-in, right? And he already left… that blonde one might be Satan; but he doesn't look very angry?_

“Beelzebub can you w-”

“ **YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!”** A booming roar erupted from said bookworm's throat, and he slammed his book down with such power that she could’ve sworn it was the sound of thunder. He acted as if it was nothing and grabbed his glass of something that resembled wine. 

“Uh ohhh, was it another cliffhanger ending Satan?” Beel teased, looking rather concerned at the way their human guest had almost reached the ceiling high above when Satan had lost his temper.

_I….I stand corrected. Holy hell!_

“Ugh, worse than that. It was a sappy one with absolutely no closure. He found his wife, they reunited and that was it, we never found out who exactly was to blame for the kidnappings. Honestly these human authors have got absolutely no imagination whatsoever, hah!” He’d completely forgotten that his temper was something to be contained nowadays and winced apologetically towards the raven haired girl. “Ah! You must be Emilia. I’m..terribly sorry about that, I forgot you were here if I’m honest! I’ll...try to remember not to lose it around you in the future, it’s nice to finally meet you but it is rather late for me and I must get to bed.” 

The Avatar of Wrath excused himself and rose up out of his seat taking his book with him, but he was surprisingly taller than she’d imagined him to be when stood up straight. Infact now she thought about it they all looked pretty tall; apart from the dirty blonde haired demon who’d greeted her first, he was a lot closer to her 5’4 frame.

_Still tall though, all of them..well apart from the one who couldn’t bear to even meet me because I don’t know what he looks like._

_Speaking of looks...why are they all so damned attractive?! It’s like I set foot in an otome game for heaven's sake._

_Should I be offended by the fact that the other brother wouldn’t even stay to meet me? I mean, sure I thought they were all going to eat me earlier but honestly they seem to be normal...a-as far as immortal demons in Hell go._

The rest of the evening was an awkward one, but the remaining brothers did their best to be welcoming towards her, even if they still hadn’t warmed up to the idea of having a human around them for an entire year of their horrendously long lives. 

Finally Lucifer dabbed a napkin on his lips, dessert had been served as promised and Beelzebub and Emilia had fast become friends, challenging each other of who could finish their food the fastest, Beel proudly kept his winning title and started on the drinks. “So Emilia..”

_Maybe I can straighten the name thing out with him..he seems more approachable than the others._

“Oh..s-sorry but you can call me Em if you like, I..I actually prefer it.” 

“Right, no problem and you can call me Beel!” The glutton smiled, happy to be on a nickname basis already with her, she was still incredibly quiet and nervous in appearance but seemed to be a really kind soul; almost angelic infact. “So Em, tell us about yourself!”

Mammon sloshed his glass about enthusiastically, already extremely merry. Well he had started early on the drinking, and had made up for the lost time he spent chasing down their guest. “Oooh yeah, come on, you must have some hobbies! What did ya do in the human realm? Anythin’ cool?” 

“Uhh...w-well”

_There’s no way I’m outing myself to them, how would they feel knowing I was a shut-in NEET without a job or any proper hobbies in life._

_They’ll think I’m pathetic._

Resigning to her inner torment, Em stood up and faked a yawn; it was the only way out of a subject she’d rather not get into. Whenever people in the human realm learned of her hobbies, they always gave her a wide berth and subjected her to ostracization. “S-sorry..I think I’m actually going to head to bed, it’s been a long day…”

“Awwwh, but I wanted to hear more about you, especially if you’re into kinky shit~” Asmodeus groaned, it was barely even 10pm, surely she couldn’t possibly be going to sleep already. But Lucifer simply nodded and rose to his feet.

_W-what?_

Before she could ask him to explain further the crimson eyed demon turned to her. “Ah, good timing. I’m just about to turn in for the night too, I’ll escort you back to your room.”

_Wow, I wouldn’t have taken him to be someone that goes to sleep this early..._

“O-oh okay..well...bye everyone, have a goodnight.”

“Bye Em! I’ll see you in the morning, I think we’ve got the same class!” The other half of the demon twins waved in a friendly manner as she was ushered out quickly by the oldest brother.

“Oi! Don’t forget ya can text us anytime!” Mammon hollered down the corridor and continued his binge drinking.

* * *

“Well I hope you ate your fill tonight, I’m afraid I can’t stick around and chat more as I have a mountain of paperwork to do this evening. I’ll message you regarding tomorrow though, Goodnight...Em wasn’t it?” 

“Y-yes, good night, Lucifer and t-thanks.”

More than grateful for the lack of questioning from Lucifer, Em grabbed her suitcase and quickly changed into some black starry patterned pyjamas and leapt into her bed with the DDD sitting charging on top of her dresser. 

_To be honest I sort of enjoyed their company tonight, Beelzebub I think I’ll get along with, as long as we talk about food and nothing else. Mammon seemed to be rather kind deep down but hid it._

She hadn’t really interacted with Satan much but it looked like he had a bit of a strained relationship with Lucifer, especially given that he faced his chair away from him. 

Asmodeus was a whole other kettle of fish, what could only be described as an almost...constipated look was glued on the demon's face most of the night and some of the questions he asked were far too personal and inappropriate for someone you just met. 

**The Demon Brothers (6)**

Mammon: I just wanted y’all to know I love ya <3

Beelzebub: :| I’m touched Mammon, but you’re drunk aren’t you?

Asmodeus: Of course he’s drunk...Mammon you’re still down at the table aren’t you?

Leviathan: LOL are you really? 

Leviathan: Well don’t drink yourself stupid, oh wait.. Sorry, you couldn’t possibly get any more stupid right? LOLOL

Leviathan: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Mammon: OI! COME DOWN HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE YA CREEP!

Leviathan: CREEP? WELL I’D RATHER BE CREEPY THAN JUST PLAIN STUPID!

Mammon: WHAT DIDYA JUST CALL ME?! GET DOWN HERE NOW YOU COWARD!

Leviathan: What are you blind, deaf and dumb now? Did you drink that one brain cell to death? I said **you’re stupid.** :D

Asmodeus: Just ignore them Beel, so uhh! You seemed to hit it off with Em! 

Asmodeus: You even got a date with her before me :(

Beelzebub: Well slow down there :) she didn’t agree to it, and it’s not a date! 

Beelzebub: But yeah, for a human she isn’t that bad! Were you all as shocked as I was seeing her eat? Damn, I assumed something so small couldn’t possibly fit all that food in her!

Lucifer: Leviathan, nice to see you, did you have a pleasant evening doing more important things than **making a good first impression with the guest who’ll be here for an entire year?**

Leviathan: Look I’m really sorry alright! I’ll message the human at some point tonight if it makes you happy, but I had to log onto my game at a very specific time tonight so I could get a rare event item, oh and of course I had some animé to catch up on.

Mammon: All I read from ya right there was blahblahblahblahblahblah (¬‿¬)

Leviathan: Well.

Leviathan: I did wait for Mammon and the human but it looks like his legs are as slow as his brain LOL

Mammon: EXCUSE ME?!!

Asmodeus: Beel my eyes nearly popped out of my skull! Both at that gorgeous figure AND the way she ate~

Asmodeus: Ugh...you know what I’m going to head to sleep. @Satan we know you’re lurking. 

Satan: Hmm? Who said I was lurking, I merely logged online just now whilst my tablet updates.

Lucifer: @Leviathan, Yes you will message her and explain your actions or I’ll be taking something precious from you. 

Lucifer: No, in fact I’m doing it anyway. That new DVD you ordered from Akuzon, I’ll be taking that tomorrow. No ifs or buts!

Leviathan: I’m typing something up to her as I type this… 

Leviathan: :(

She’d barely been resting for five minutes before there was a never ending chorus of pinging coming from the device.

“Ugh I can’t take it anymore, I’ll just take a quick peek!” Em impatiently yanked her phone out of the charging port and made herself comfortable, snuggling into the bed sheets as she opened up a flood of messages. 

**Unread messages from: Lucifer**

Lucifer: Good evening, This is just a quick message to let you know that Mammon will be waiting for you outside of your room tomorrow at 6:30am to bring you down to breakfast, just on the off chance you get lost again.

Lucifer: I do hope none of my brothers caused any harm to you or made you feel uncomfortable, if they did just point them out to me and they will suffer.

Em: Oh wow that’s an early start! Thank you for letting me know, is he going to be okay after drinking so much though?

Lucifer: Ah you’re still awake? That is exactly the reason why he’s meeting you so early tomorrow, as punishment for his behaviour tonight :)

Lucifer: Good night Em. 

Lucifer: Oh and expect a message from Leviathan at some point. He is **deeply regretful** for not being able to meet you, if you don’t receive anything from him please let me know.

_O-oh? Really because that sounds to me like you forced him to text me, Lucifer…_

_Okay, another message…_

**Unread message from: Satan**

Satan: Good evening Em! I’m so sorry for my outburst earlier and hope I didn’t scare you. Welcome to the House of Lamentation and I look forward to getting to know you. I’m off to bed now, reading is mentally taxing :) so goodnight!

_I hope this doesn’t wake him up.._

Em: Hello Satan! Oh don’t worry, it just caught me by surprise is all! I know too well what a bad ending to a book is like so I understand! I hope this didn’t wake you up… but goodnight!

**Unread messages from: Asmodeus**

Asmodeus: Hello cutie! It was so nice to meet you earlier, I just wanted to give you these coordinates if you ever want a fun time.  
  
Asmodeus: 16, 23, 42

Em narrowed her eyes in suspicion and clicked the numbers which opened up Ooogle Maps. The further she zoomed in, the closer the map got to the satellite view of the House and after a few more enhancements, the cogs turned in her mind.

_They’re...directions to his room…_

_Well Lucifer did warn me about him._

_Just ignore it, and divert the conversation elsewhere._

Em: Oh you too! I’m sorry I couldn’t stay long, but I look forward to getting to know you all better ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

Asmodeus: I look forward to getting to know you better too ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Asmodeus: Oh and my door is the pink one!

**Unread messages from: Mammon**

Mammon: Hey hey hey! Listen up Em, I’m gonna be outside your door bright and early tomorrow to take ya to the R.A.D Academy, just stick with me and no-one will bother ya.

Mammon: But I have 2 ask ya not 2 drw any attention to us I ain’t exactly thrilled to be working so closely with a human and I got a rep to uphold k?

Mammon: wellanywyay ggertsome slep

_Pffft, I see someone’s a tsundere…and...drunk as the message carries on._

_But alright. That’s fine with me._

Em: Hey Mammon, I’m really sorry about before the feast.. But, no problem!

Em: Will I need my running shoes this time? LOL jk 

Em: I hope your hangover isn’t too bad tomorrow, good night!

**Unread message from: Beelzebub**

Beelzebub: Hello Em! :D 

Beelzebub: I just wanted to drop by with some handy links to eating out in the Devildom, there’s a list of all the best places in the realm here and of course I’d be happy to come with you.

Beelzebub: Oh and I have a discount for a bunch of these places so if you DO want to go then I’m the best option for company!

She laughed out loud at his list, it seemed hastily put together by someone but they certainly knew what they were talking about when it came to food reviews. If the signature on the bottom of the list wasn’t someone called Rawden Gamsey then Em would’ve easily assumed it to be self written.

Em: Oh thank you so much, that’s so helpful! And I would be delighted to go...someday, when I know you all better ^^’’

Em: Anyway, thanks for the message and for being so welcoming tonight. I was a little worried about meeting you all but it looks like it was just me being silly! Have a good night Beel!

_Awwh he’s so nice! For a big scary looking demon, what an absolute sweetheart!_

_That’s...all my messages._

_Leviathan didn’t text me after all, well who could blame him if his oldest brother was trying to force him, it sounds like he’s a bit of a black sheep of the family._

After figuring out how to set an alarm on her new DDD and scouring the internet for the Devildoms top video site; DevilTube, Em fluffed her pillows up and watched some random cooking channel,they were pretty funny for demons but what the recipe involved was disgusting.

To think she’d be here for an entire year of her life, what sort of things would she learn in this mysterious academy? Would there be exams? And were the demon brothers all as nice as they seemed after that awkward tension had fizzled out earlier? Would she ever meet this mysterious shut in, Leviathan? Or was it too tall an order? 

Her eyes forced themselves shut after a while, exhausted from such an eventful first day in her new home and she drifted off into deep sleep.

Somewhere between Midnight and 3am her DDD buzzed with life, someone was messaging her, but the girl didn’t stir and kept sleeping through the noise.

**Unread messages from: Leviathan**

Leviathan: Hey, I’m Leviathan but call me Levi.

Leviathan: I just wanted to say I’m sorry for not being able to meet you in person tonight, I had really important things to do that my brothers wouldn’t understand. 

Leviathan: Ah...I just noticed the time, sorry I’m a bit of a night owl so I didn’t even realize that you might be asleep right now.

Leviathan: Right well, that’s all I had to say. See you around...well actually, I guess in my case, I won’t. Lucifer probably already mentioned that I never come out of my room, except for food sometimes when my mini fridge is low or on like, really REALLY rare occasions I need to stretch my legs for a bit. I study from in here too so the chances of us meeting IRL are pretty slim. 

Leviathan: Lucky you eh? :) 

Leviathan: But yeah anyway, I’ll leave you alone now.


	2. Lust at First Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ems first day in RAD is eventful.

It was early morning, well it would’ve been back in the human realm; only there was a distinct lack of sunlight blinding her awake and Em was still fast asleep. The moonlight was shining through the curtains and only the sound of crickets chirping could be heard.

And then, a sudden ringing disturbed the peace. Stirring the girl from her slumber, she rubbed her eyes sleepily and felt around for the source of the noise, silencing it as soon as she came to realize it was an alarm.

_Ugh...is it morning? It’s still pitch black outsi- oh wait yeah, there’s no sun here._

_Well I guess being born in England prepared me for this._

As her vision cleared and her body began to wake up, Em noticed she had new messages. But she was certain that she’d checked all of them before going to sleep. “Huh..weird...maybe they just wake up super early?” The girl logged onto the messaging app and let out a small squeak. “Oh! It’s Leviathan!”

 _Hmm, what does he mean, lucky me?_ _  
__  
__Well I’m glad he messaged me at the very least, even if it was strictly on Lucifer's orders._

_Wow he went to bed late, he sent this at 2am!_

Em: Hello Levi, it’s nice to meet you! I’m Emilia, but call me Em :)

Em: No need to apologize for the late messages, to be honest with you I usually go to sleep around the same time. I was just exhausted from the travelling I think. Oh and I totally understand having important things that other people wouldn’t get. 

_Maybe he’s friendly like Beel...I should try being polite back._

Em: If you ever want to talk at stupid o’clock, feel free to message me ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

Em: Hopefully our paths cross sometime before the year is up!

_Well I probably won’t get a response until la-_

Almost instantly her phone buzzed again. “Jeez doesn’t this guy sleep!?” Rubbing her eyes sleepily at the message, her face twisted into a frown.

Leviathan: Likewise

_Did I basically just get “k’d” by a demon?_

_Well..nevermind. Chances are I’ll never run into him anyway._

Em stretched her arms and shook her head awake, perhaps a nice scalding hot shower would wake her up, it was going to be a very long first day in the Devildom. She glanced over towards her wardrobe and opened it with a surprised gasp, it had been fully stocked with spare uniforms for RAD, skirts, dresses, pants and suits all in her size exactly.

These demons knew more about her than she’d remembered, but maybe when she’d initially signed up for the program they’d asked for the sizings, but could she have forgotten something so important as to volunteering for this exchange program in the first place?

Well it didn’t matter now, she was here about to start her first full day that was most likely going to be anything but easy. “Right time for that shower!” She ambled over awkwardly into the ensuite bathroom and felt her jaw drop. It was a bathroom fit for a queen, even the porcelain throne looked like it was worth a lot of whatever kind of currency they had here.

But the need for some hot water running down her back trumped the admiration, she had a whole year to be impressed with this place but right now she had to get dressed before Mammon came to escort her to get breakfast.

After a somewhat uncomfortable shower due to the temperature being finicky and the fact she could barely reach the shower head, she was finally ready and dressed. The uniform was rather fashionable she had to admit, it was almost military. 

Her blouse was a seagreen colour, the skirt was fitted and jet black, with stockings and ankle boots to match. Lastly was the blazer, a dark grey jacket with a half shoulder cape and red cloak on the left side complete with a badge of the R.A.D initials. It had long sleeves with a quilted pattern, small golden beads and a black band around the waist.

The human girl did a little twirl in the mirror after finishing the uniform with an aubergine coloured tie that Lucifer had left for her along with many other colours that she could freely choose from to give a dash of her own personality to the outfit. Just as she was reaching for her DDD there was a lazy knocking at the door. “Oi, are ya ready yet? I ain’t gonna wait here all mornin’ y’know.”

_Someone's hungover..or tired. I wouldn’t blame him._

_Okay, remember you were fine with them last night, just...take it easy and remember to breathe, you got through those last years of high school somehow; you can get through this...university?_

Em opened the door coming face to face with the white haired demon once again, he didn’t look happy either but then that was to be expected, it was incredibly early for him and Mammon preferred to wake up with just barely enough time to get his breakfast and run to class. “G-good morning!” She beamed up at him, hoping the awkwardness had already passed.

He gave her a look of contempt and grunted out a reply. “Yeah yeah, let’s get something straight here, Em. You’re a human, I’m a demon. We won’t eat ya I promise but don’t be actin’ like we’re best buddies, and like I said last night I’m only lookin’ after ya because I have to...anyway c’mon let's go get breakfast..”

_Well damn..good morning to you too Mr Grumpy…_

_I..I have to hang out with this tsundere act all day? Every day? For a year?_

_And I doubt I have any say in this._

“R-right..” She instantly deflated, honestly after how welcoming they’d all been last night for the most part Em had been looking forward to today. But now all she felt was a pit of dread in her stomach, if only she were partnered up with someone like Beel or even Asmodeus, at the very least they’d been more friendly from the get go.

_I thought I’d cleared the air with them...but I guess I have to remember they are demons._

As they silently trudged down the stairs to meet the rest of the bizarre breakfast club the white haired tsundere kept shifting his eyes back towards her, feeling a little guilty for acting so coldly towards her all of a sudden. But he did have a reputation to uphold, if anyone saw THE Mammon acting cozy with a human girl it would mean trouble for the both of them, so in his own messed up way he was still protecting her from the other demons, it would just have to be further away than she hoped. 

The moment they entered the breakfast hall, all eyes were again on her. It hadn’t taken them long at all to get used to her company, especially Asmodeus who was on cloud nine this morning. “Good morning! Oooh, you scrub up very well in our uniform, not as good looking as me of course, but you’re close! I do wish the skirts were a little shorter though just because you have amazing legs and I wouldn’t mind seeing mo-”

“ **Asmodeus** , **that’s enough**. Would it kill you to just stop talking a few sentences earlier, especially this early in the morning. Unless of course you’d like to take Cerberus for a walk, you must remember how he loves to play fetch.” Lucifer warned, as he took a bite of his croissant. His eyes also flickered over to the girl seeing that she’d had no trouble with the uniform, and also to change the subject to something more appropriate. 

_Cerberus?_  
  
“Good morning, Em. I hope you slept well.” a small smirk crept up again, the urge to tease was too much. “Or maybe you would’ve preferred something with bars on, perhaps a leash? As I said last night, that could’ve been arranged. Just like Asmodeus here, there are plenty with those...tastes here in the Devildom.”

“Well that’s not fair Luci, I can’t tease her but you can?” The forlorn demon pouted, Lucifer had always been a man of double standards, just because he was the oldest didn’t mean he should get to have all of the fun though. He glanced over at Em who was now beetroot, she hadn’t even had the chance to sit down yet and they were already pouncing on her like this? It was going to be an incredibly long year. 

_Again..they’re demons. I have to remember that._

The other siblings filtered through the door in a disorderly fashion, Satan had his eyes peeled only on a crime novel. _“How to Kill Your Older Brother, Open a Cat Café and Get Away with it.”_ It certainly had him transfixed as the emerald eyed demon didn’t see everyone sitting at the table, and he instead opted to sit on a smaller table by himself. Much to Lucifer's annoyance, at the very least he gave a half-hearted wave to whoever was in the room.

The girl finally took her seat at the rear end of the long oak table, noting again the lack of bodies compared to the amount of chairs. Mammon sighed and carelessly tossed a plate of toast and assortment of jams onto the table in front of her, he was her babysitter after all so had to make sure the human was eating plenty.

A roaring laughter lightened the atmosphere and Em threw her head up to spot the towering red head smiling down at her. “Mornin’...Em? Wasn’t it. Nice mo-” His stomach growled like a lion and he stopped mid sentence. “Ahhh one sec I GOTTA GET MY FOOD ORDER IN RIGHT NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!”

The glutton stormed forward towards the kitchen demons who just sighed heavily, they were used to this by now so why was it still such a daunting task everyday, the little demon with the chef hat stared into oblivion as Beel spouted out a list, no it was more of an essay of a food order. “Devil pork sausages with bacon and void chicken eggs, at the very last three servings. Bagels and scream cheese, I’ll take some omelettes too, oh and some jam, marmalade with the waffles, a stack of pancakes with chocolate syrup, maple syrup and some fruits, as for the cereals I’ll have Oni Pops, Angelbites, Unlucky Charms, Horn Flakes, Sinnamon Roll Crunch…” 

Everyone else just went about their usual business as the starving demon rambled on and on with his order, Em couldn’t believe her ears, this all sounded like it could feed an entire family for a week, but finally the list drew to a close and the kitchen demons got to work. “Oh and I’ll have my favourite tankard of milk to wash that all down. Thanks!”

Lucifer leant back in the large wooden dining chair and turned to face the counter as best as he could from that angle. “Ah! Whilst you’re there Beelzebub, can you put another order in for me? You already know it by now.” He let out a dry chuckle before facing the dumbstruck human. “Em would you like anything in particular for breakfast? The kitchen demons can make just about anything. And of course we have the human substitutes for you.”

_O-oh I have to order it? Ugh, I’m not very good with things like that.._

_I don’t want to make trouble for the staff so I’ll just have whatever's left on the table._

She timidly shook her head like an obedient puppy and reached for two dry, cold looking pieces of toast and began scraping some equally lackluster butter on them. “I-I’m fine with this..” The other brothers raised their eyebrows at her due to how much the girl had eaten on the previous evening compared to now, but perhaps all the over eating had been due to nerves? 

Mammon narrowed his azure eyes and started fiddling with the tinted shades resting amongst his mess of white hair, almost as if he were trying to work the girls behaviour out.

Asmodeus looked positively horrified at the lacking food on her plate, life was about to get very demanding for the girl, and seeing how much she ate last night it was obvious to the oddly perceptive demon that she was refusing due to awkwardness. “Em...you can’t be serious! I’m all for keeping a figure but a whole day of classes in the academy will be rough you know? You’ve got your orientation today, spellcrafting introductions, demonology, demon law.. And honestly even just the orientation will wear a little thing like you out!” 

He huffed and stood up, making his way to the breakfast counter and placed an order for himself, plus one.   
  
“He’s right, and I doubt Diavolo would be happy to hear about the human student passing out on the very first day. Although he was rather amused last night when I told him of your misunderstanding.” Lucifer reminded her.

_Ugh..why did you tell him? Great, now even the royalty thinks I’m perverted!_

Saving her from any more embarrassment, an unsightly small demon no taller than an imp ran out carrying two large plates. On the left serving were croissants,toast of each different variety of bread, pan au chocolates, crumpets and a bowl of granola. And the right dish was completely opposite in contrast; sickly green eggs that were too large to be a chickens, a large purple mass that could easily be mistaken for an eggplant caught the girls curious stare, but as the miniature kitchen staff drew nearer to the table her belief was squandered.

The lustful demon giggled playfully as he caught her befuddled expression. “What’s the matter, have you never seen demon sausage before?” His rose coloured eyes suddenly lit up as the pale girls complexion reddened, and he laughed quietly to himself. “Oh, I didn’t mean like that but well..do you want to?”

“U-ummm..” She didn’t know what to say to that.

From behind her, Em heard a threatening cough in Asmodeus’ direction and that was all it took for him to cease with the inappropriate teasing. “Could someone pass me the Nuthella?”

_Pffft, it sounds like the Devildom has all sorts of funny pun brands._

Before anyone else could move, a jewelry covered hand grabbed the chocolate spread. “Here ya go, handsome big bro of mine!” It seemed like Mammon thought playing kiss-ass to Lucifer would maybe set him free of his yearly duty, unfortunately the Avatar of Pride was far from stupid and played along. 

“Thank you Mammon, it looks like you really were the right choice. ” He flicked his newspaper, his brother would have to reap the consequences of all of his actions throughout the years. No ifs or buts. “You’re already acting like you give two tails about people other than yourself.”

_I really need to eat but these brothers are fascinating to just...watch. A bit like a nature documentary._

Prying her eyes away from the free entertainment, the girl remembered Asmodeus’ words of advice. She was in for a rough first day so grabbed her cutlery complacently and dug in.

* * *

After barely putting her fork down from eating her fill, Lucifer announced that it was time for everyone to make their way to the RAD Academy. Mammon had sighed and dragged the poor girl up on her feet, it wouldn’t be wise to make her late on the first day. Of course with his new toy, Asmodeus was right on their tail and had to walk quickly to keep up with their paces, with Beel happily joining the crew.

_I feel like I have my own personal harem..._

It was a short walk to the academy, give or take ten minutes on foot. And even though it was nighttime eternally here, the path in front of them was lit so brightly you’d have assumed it was the human realm. Forked trees twisted in the woods around them, making the school look like it was in some sort of prison cell. The sky was like an inky canvas and stars scattered everywhere. She hadn’t been expecting somewhere that was compared to Hell so..beautiful.

But the closer they drew near to the steps of the tall almost regal looking building, Em started to feel first day jitters. And all the creatures around them weren't helping her anxiety. Lesser demons scowled at her, giving death glares. Demonnesses smiled widely, too widely to be seen as genuinely friendly and as they passed in their groups, they made their whispers louder purposefully. “Have you seen her bangs? They mustn’t have mirrors back in the human realm.”

Another group, mixed with male and female students sneered at her. The leader had pure black eyes and licked his lips, the endless voids trailing downwards at her legs. “I always like seeing fresh meat, she looks like an easy meal compared to that other human.”

The Avatar of Lust heard every word and knew all of their names and faces from certain premises he visited regularly. He’d be sure to have a little word or two with them all. He pushed himself in between his less than happy brother and the human, gently grabbing her arm and pulling her closer to him for both safety and his own pleasure. “There’s no need to be nervous Em, if any lesser demons give you hell you just let me know and I’ll punish them _hard.”_

_But all those glares, that guy is practically frothing at the mouth looking at me!_

“I-I’m sorry..I just..s-school is bad enough but..what did they mean the other human?” 

Beel happily chimed in, also stepping closer to her from behind. She had to crane her neck uncomfortably to look at him whilst he spoke. All three of the brothers now circled the girl like a defensive herd formation. “Oh Diavolo didn’t tell you? Weird. Basically you and a guy called uhhh...Salmon? I think were chosen. He’s not a normal human though, he’s a sorcerer."  
  
“Oh! He a-actually did mention a sorcerer..I just assumed he wasn’t human because well, we’re told in the human realm magic doesn’t exist….Salmon huh? That’s a strange name, like the fish?.”

“It’s...Solomon actually.” An unknown voice spoke behind them.

“But Salmon sounds better!” None of them had noticed and now Mammon was joining in. “Even if it’s just you thinkin’ with your stomach, Beel.”

Em laughed awkwardly as the brothers started arguing again, not noticing the white haired gentleman now walking with them. He wasn’t saying anything or trying to grab their attention, just observing them with curiosity. After getting a good look at the girl being closely guarded, Solomon did a mental fist pump, she was just his type.

So she didn’t think humans could practice magic? Interesting. Then why was she here? Did she not possess any powers? The man finally announced himself and coughed, with a flick of his wrist he produced a rose out of thin air, and her doe-like eyes finally noticed him. “A rose for the lady. I did greet you earlier but you were all too busy fighting about my name ahaha.” He laughed in a friendly manner, making sure to drive home that beaming smile that all women used to swoon over. As he stepped over and offered her the rose, she shrank back fearfully like she didn’t exactly enjoy the close contact and reluctantly reached for the flower. 

“T-thank-”

A whistle flew across the air and the rose was gone, now in the hands of another.“Thank you! I’m not a lady but that won’t stop me…” Asmodeus drank in the handsome figure. His hazel-lemon eyes were soft looking, a jawline that could cut glass and even his voice was attractive.“Wow...you’re hot. Your looks could certainly give me a run for my money.~”

The charming sorcerer grimaced with a smile, that rose wasn’t for the demon. But it would do no good to make enemies on the very first day. Instead he shook it off and greeted the others, paying extra attention to give off a good impression with the girl. “Well..it’s nice to meet all of you. Uhhh you must be the demon brothers I’ve been hearing about..wait, let me guess. From what I’ve heard, you’re Mammon, Asmodeus and Beelzebub correct?” 

The three brothers nodded in surprise, who in Devildom was going around talking about them already to the other human? 

“And you are...miss?”

“This is Em.” The red head crossed his arms in a threatening manner, this human was far too friendly for a stranger, with any of them. “Anyway it’s been nice chatting but we better all get to class before we’re late.”

“Ah right, well you’re not wrong. It’s lovely to make your acquaintance, Em! I’d love to chat with you more sometime. Could I perhaps join you for lunch?” 

“O-oh ummm..s-sure” She winced, she was never good at turning people down, but it would be nice to have a human friend. Even if he was a little full on that might’ve been due to nerves. “You don’t mind r-right guys?”

The gears turned in the Avatar of Greed's head, and before long there was a click. “Not at all! Hell I got stuff to do around lunchtime anyways.” This male was a human sure, but could practice magic. If he were to get on the humans good side maybe there would be something in it for himself? And if Em got along with Solomon maybe he wouldn’t have to babysit her full time. 

“Well great! We’ll see you at lunch!” The confident man turned with a polite wave as he disappeared into the building.

 _We?_ _As in..the royal we or.. Is he bringing friends?_

A familiar blonde clapped his book closed. “Who in the Devildom was that?” He had walked a little far ahead of the group as he was stuck in one of his crime novels, leaning against one of the walls of the steps leading inside as he approached the group. “Nevermind, we’re all going to be late if we don’t hurry up. But I expect to be told what I missed.”

* * *

_I haven't got a clue what I'm supposed to do here... even their calculations are all weird. And I'm supposed to just know this?_

She nibbled the end of her pen anxiously, it was almost the end of the lesson and here she was stuck on the third question of her worksheet.

“Oh if you don’t know the answer Em, you can gladly use my notes. It's not cheating....pinky promise.~”

“Oh t-thanks Asmodeus...measurements and formulas aren’t really my strong suit.”

“Mmhmm well we can’t be as perfect as I am. I was lucky to be blessed with the whole package. But you've got a lot going for you too, that body for example. Brains are overrated.” 

“Asmo, stop hitting on her in the middle of class for Mephisto’s sake!” Satan warned, pinching his nose. It had now been two and a half hours of countless innuendos and inappropriate behaviour. It was a good thing they were in the school council so the teachers turned a blind eye to them slacking off a little, but even this was bound to get under their scales before too long.

The bookworm tutted seeing her calculations, if this were a day with the cauldrons out she would’ve blown herself and the classroom up with that mess. “Em if you need some assistance on Alchemy and Potion Making come by the library with me this evening. Ah, our personal library, not the one in downtown Devildom aha…” His emerald eyes darkened, there was no way he wanted to go within five hundred feet of that place with another woman, it would create even more misunderstandings.

Excited about the prospect of books, which might mean manga. Em forgot her indoor voice. “Oh! I forgot you had your own library! Yeah I’ll come!” 

A snake-like man slithered over to the group and slammed his teaching notes down on the desk, causing the mouse-like girl to jump in fright, the other demons in the room glowered at the brothers around her. “Misssss Emilia Cartel? I really can’t be bothered hisssuing a detention on the first day of the sssemesster so consider thiss a warning. Just because you’re a human exchange sstudent, I won’t be going easy on you.”

_Ugh...reprimanded on the first day of school. That was terrifying._

“Don’t mind him Em, Snake has always been well...a bit of a snake.” The lustful demon whispered with a smile as his rose coloured eyes leaned into her face. “Ah, word of warning. Never laugh at his speech impediment. Mammon did that once and was turned to stone for eight hours. He’s a gorgon, that’s why he’s got those glasses on.”

_O-oh I see..like the gorgons in mythology? Wow._

_I wonder what other creatures actually exist._

“W-wait turned to stone?” She asked in a hushed but concerned tone.

“Yeah we had to chisel him out. It ruined my freshly manicured nails too...”

“We should all be quiet, I ain’t gettin’ strung up by Lucifer in the first week of term.” Mammon warned, hushing them. Everyone settled down and got back to their studies even though the poor human didn’t have the faintest idea what she was even studying here. The gorgon turned back towards them and threatened to take his glasses off whilst pointing at the white haired demon. “G-gahhh..okay okay, I’ll shut up!”

Orientation had basically been a case of ‘Congratulations you’re here to study magic, demons and...angel laws’. There was even talk of angels attending the school which had made her laugh, demons were one thing to get into her head, magic was another. But angels? With wings and halos? That was a bit much.

Before long, the bell rang in a creepy G-Major note. It almost sounded like an organ during a funeral or something from The Spirit of the Opera. The students all went into a crazed frenzy, happy to finally be done with the sleep inducing work for the day and pushed, shoved their way through the door.

Beel instinctively threw his arms out, shielding the poor girl before she got crushed. Taking the brunt of the shoving himself, luckily it didn’t really affect him too much. He glanced down over his shoulder. “Are you alright Em? They’re not usually that bad but that’s lesser demons for you..”

Em could barely speak, trembling where she stood. She breathed in deeply a few times and calmed herself. “I-I’m fine...it was just a bit of a shock.” 

“Well, I’ll do my best to protect you when I’m around. But I guess we’d better wait for Salmon?”

“Solomon. I wasn’t even there Beel, but I still know the humans names. Remember, Em’s not the only one we need to keep our eyes on this year, he may not be in our care but I’m sure Lord Diavolo will come down hard on Lucifer if we do anything to upset the renowned sorcerer.”

Asmodeus pressed his lips together and snorted, to which the others besides Em groaned. She looked up at them tilting her head at the inside joke.

_What’s so funny?_

“Oh we’ve got so much to tell you! Come on, let’s get some food down you.” The flirty demon once again forced her to link arms and the four of them made their way to the cafeteria. 

“Oh but I do have to ask. Em, how the hell do you keep that figure?” He traced her curves and threw an accusatory glance. “You didn’t get surgery or something did you? I know all the human celebrities do that these days but...”

“N-no! Of course not. I uhhh…” The truth was she went hard on VR workouts to keep in shape, the reason? So she could stuff her face even more and keep the body she worked hard for. 

Ruffling her bangs out of frustration, she decided to evade the question. Convinced that it was better to blend in than single herself out with mentioning any of her strange hobbies or interests whilst staying here. Especially with how Lucifer had already told the others about the misunderstanding with her room. “W-well let’s get some food, I’m sure Beelzebub is starving!” 

Like a small bullet, she shot down the corridor at a quick pace causing her bodyguard to panic and run after her. “Yo human wait up! Jeez.. don’t think I’ll be chasin’ after ya the entire year!” 

It was starting to raise suspicions with the other brothers, this girl never seemed to want to talk about herself, last night it was the excuse she was tired and now it was suddenly a rush to get lunch? How strange. 

“So..what do we know about her so far? Her name is Emilia, she has a weird accent aaaaaaand?”

“Oh! She likes food!”

“Yeahhh because that helps you get to know someone. Just imagine that on a Plenty of Squid account. Hi, I’m Asmodeus and I like food, let's bang!...I know I’d be swiping left.” The glutton gave him a confused face which meant having to expand on the terminology. “...it means I wouldn’t be interested.”

“Plenty of Squid?” On cue the Avatar of Gluttony’s stomach roared like a lion. “That reminds me, I’m hungry…”

“Hah, it’s not a food app Beel...well actually. I suppose technically it is!”

“If anyone mentioned liking food on their profiles I’d hit them up! U-uhh not for the other thing. But putting that aside... it’s only Ems first day, maybe she’s still scared of us?” 

“Or maybe she has something to hide…” Satan perked up, he didn’t trust her as far as he could throw her; something was off. The only brother who thought the girl was genuinely a nice person seemed to be Beelzebub.

“I’ll find out what it is tonight in the Library, but my detective skills won’t be free.”

The brunette narrowed his eyes. “So you’re trying to bribe us for something that you’ve chosen to do? Wow you really do take after Lucifer...I’ll do it myself with my charm powers.” The two stepped into the cafeteria, leaving the blonde standing there frozen in place. Asmodeus was just counting down the seconds in his head...

“Wait!” His brothers looked back towards him and a small forced smile spread across the detective's previously horrified face. “You must have misheard me, I said my skills will be free.” No way was he going to be compared with that sadistic man, even if it meant no-one buying him that cat onesie he’d been eyeing up on Akuzon.

Bingo, the old comparison trick worked like a charm. “I thought that was the case, anyway let’s find Mammon and Em before Beel starts munching on some pillars again ~.”

“Hey, that was one time!”

“And the colosseum at Diavolo’s birthday party?”

“Levi promised he'd buy me some new running shoes…and Belphie told me to go for it if I really wanted to, of course I was worried what Lucifer was gonna say. And then Levi started quoting some weird Devil Tube video, he said ‘don’t let your dreams be dreams and just do it.’ So I did? And you know what, I don’t regret it..even though I was coughing up gravel for days.”

“Thank you for sharing...that” Their bookworm brother awkwardly glanced to the side. What was the point of that story exactly? “Anyway..lunch?”

* * *

Upon entering the crowded cafeteria, Em had headed straight to the food counter to order some lunch. But being surrounded by bloodthirsty vicious demons wasn’t exactly going to make life easy for a defenseless human and an opportunist slowly creeped up behind her.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing all by yourself?” There was a sudden tugging on her uniform and a large red haired demon grabbed her by the wrist, gripping tighter as he began to lead her away towards the same group who had made comments that morning. She opened her mouth to scream but nothing would come out, and then looked up to see something disc shaped floating high in the air above him.

_Is that a..tray?_

“Excuse me, but I do believe you’re cutting in line there.” A familiar voice said from behind the demon.

He didn’t even turn around to whoever was trying to start something. “Go away, can’t you see I’m busy here?” 

The voice became deceptively sweet and calm, speaking slowly. “Haha my apologies, I’ll try that again. Move out of the way **scum**.“ Before the demon had a chance to retaliate the lunch tray came crashing down full force on him. He growled and staggered, feeling dizzy but then made eye contact with a white haired human. 

Solomon’s eyes turned cold and he pulled Em closer to him with magic. “If you lay a hand on her again I will cast you into the brimstone pits of the ninth layer of the Devildom and your blood will bubble and liquify...is that clear enough for your kind?” 

“Y-yeah. Whatever she isn’t worth it anyway! Freakin’ humans.” As he walked off the sorcerer tutted. That was no way to speak to him or a lady, he gestured with his hands again and the lunch tray dove under the demons feet where he stood, causing him to slide a million miles an hour straight into the opposite wall. Everyone around them stopped eating and laughed at the unconscious idiot who had his horns now poking through the cement.

“Oh dear…” The human girl dropped her hand away from her mouth and darted her eyes down to the man's hand around her waist, before stepping back as he released her. “T-thank you...you saved me!”

“It’s no problem at all, but you shouldn’t wander off here. My friends and I were waiting for you and I just happened to see that creep coming after you.”

“EM What did I tell ya about wanderin’ off! I told ya you gotta stick with me or else!” To everyone's surprise even his own, the tsundere grabbed the girl by the shoulders and shook her. Then pulled her into a hug of relief before realizing what he was doing and pushed her away again. “A-ahem. it’s a good thing you were there..thanks Salmon.”

“Solomon..” He reiterated with a fed up sigh.

“Gesundheit!” Mammon patted him on the back and told Em with his eyes to stick with the sorcerer. "I'll get your food so there's no funny business, just sit down and stop causin’ trouble. Guess I gotta cancel all my plans today..."

_Ahh there’s the tsundere again._

The saviours eye twitched but the smile remained and swiftly turned back where he came from. “Shall we?”

The other brothers were all waiting for them sitting at a nearby table. Asmodeus looked downright smitten with the white haired sorcerer, especially after that power move. Beel was unsurprisingly too busy with the mountain of food on his plate to care, but the incident had caused him to eat quicker than usual. Satan was perhaps the most reactive and had been one of the demons to laugh the hardest at the misfortune of being pelted into a wall. Maybe he was a tiny bit sadistic as well. 

A small blonde haired child wearing a star patterned beret and rather ceremonial looking clothes could just about be seen from the tree-sized oak tables. Was she about to be indoctrinated into some sort of demon cult? Next to him was a concerned looking man with rich umber skin, dark brown hair and striking cerulean eyes. He was wearing a black sleeveless turtleneck and a long flowy cape with cream coloured pants. As soon as his gaze met her Em knew without a doubt; this was an angel.

A wave of serenity washed over her and it was as if she were finally at peace, the closer she got to the strangers the happier she felt. 

“Hello, you must be Emilia. I hope you’re okay after that, Luke was about to run in and intervene but we’re beings of peace. Well, we prefer to keep it.” The angel chuckled in a soothing tone and glided further down the bench to make room. “I’m Simeon, one of angels sent from the Celestial Realm.”

_I’m afraid to correct him...what if he smites me or something?_

“And I’m Luke! I would’ve come and taught that stupid demon a lesson but Solomon beat me to it and uhh..I’m not allowed to commit acts of violence but I could’ve written a sternly worded letter to his mother!” The small cherub shook his fist, but with the demeanour of a gentle angel it resembled more of a childish cheer than murderous intent.

_Aww he’s adorable! But why would they send a little kid to this place?_

She fixed her hair and took a seat next to the celestial beings, taking full advantage of that peaceful aura they radiated and smiled fondly down at the young angel. “I-it’s nice to meet you both..” Words failed her, how was she supposed to talk to such graceful beings like angels if she wasn’t of the faith? They’d be drowning her in holy water if they knew the sorts of things she dressed in back in the human realm, and her music taste was anything but sinless.

Simeon suddenly laughed in a light tone and kept his eyes on her. “There’s no need to be afraid of us..Em? My apologies for that. We aren’t the judgemental type anymore, after the brothers here fell, the Holy Land had a few changes in management. So you like that sort of music? Don’t worry, rock is no longer a sin.”

Her pupils shrank. “H-how did you..”

“Know what you were thinking? It’s not mind reading but one of our greatest abilities is perception and empathy. And your aura tells me a lot about you...you’re an interesting human.” The man cleared his throat and took a sip from his goblet, his eyes flickered again towards a faint sound of boots, pointing towards the source without tearing his glance away. “Ah, Mammons back with your food.”

And it was true, the Avatar of Greed returned, huffing breathlessly with two large plates, one with chicken wings, fries, salad and onion rings and on the other plate? Deep fried scorpions on kebab sticks, spider legs and tartar sauce. It took everything in the two humans to not show their disgust as Mammon sat down almost drooling over the arachnid limbs. 

“Oh what the hell Mammon, you said they were out of spider legs!” Beel winced and directed his attention back towards the angels who were eating perfect looking sandwiches, almost glowing as the scent of toasted french bread hit Ems nose, thankfully masking the smell of the roasted demon food. 

“Yeah well it looks like I was wrong, hehe all for me!” 

_Well he’s cheered up. Maybe he and Beel aren’t so different after all._

“Well they don’t call you the Avatar of Greed for nothing..” The glutton tutted and folded his arms in a temper. 

_Did I miss something, why are they fighting over spider legs as if they’re some rare artifact or best seller?_

The only other confused person leaned in to her ear from across the table. “Don’t worry, you get used to it. As for me, I’ve brought my own home made soup. You see I was something of a chef back in the human realm.” He tapped his fingers on a lidded bowl, but Ems kind smile faded as soon as it was opened. The stench was unlike anything she’d ever had the displeasure of smelling before, worse than Mammons spider legs and scorpions. It was like rotting flesh mixed with skunks and sewer water.

She had to hold her hands to her mouth with apprehension as the ‘renowned chef’ slurped his first spoonful with a nostalgic glow. “Ahhh, just like mother used to make.” Surely not? Unless his mother was some cthulian creation or a truly evil witch. 

“Is everything alright, Em?”

She fought back tears as the stench reached her tear ducts. “Y-yes I’m just..amazed.”

“Oh in that case do you want a taste? I don’t mind sharing.” She could hit herself for using those words, of course the man took that as a sign of wanting to share.  
  
“A-ahhh I’d love to but I wouldn’t be able to finish all of my own food. Maybe another time, you enjoy it Solomon.”

Instinctively upon the cursed name, Mammon sighed again. “Bless ya.. Damn, both you humans got a cold already? Maybe ya should be wrapping up warmer.”

“What?”

“I think he’s referring to my name…” Solomon muttered and carried on with his questionable meal. “I’ll get him back one day.”

_Or just feed him that, it’s revenge enough._

_Oh no..I bet the demons are going to all fight over it as well._

Expecting some sort of argument like with Mammons dish, Em reared her head up and prepared for the table to get boisterous. But Beelzebub refused to even look in the sorcerer's direction, closing his eyes as he chewed on his netherburger and a spider leg he managed to score due to his older brother being too focused to work out what the hell Solomon was ingesting. Even the sparkle in Asmo’s rose eyes had faded and he kept looking at his new target in disbelief, almost offended how someone could be blessed with such good looks yet create something so ugly.

The angels decided to step in and help, already having suffered that fate the previous evening when Solomon cooked their first meal together. “So, Em what do you think of Lucifer? We actually used to be pretty close before he became a demon.”

“Oh? R-really? Well uhh..he seems...nice.”

Mammon shrugged, not understanding why she was beating around the bush. “Just say ya scared shitless of him, hell we all are.”  
  
Satan spoke for the first time in a while and sighed. “Language..” He was more of an observer in groups like this and finished tucking into his Poison apple pie.

“Hah well he’s closer to Diavolo these days.” Once again the demons all laughed like there was an inside joke, the two humans and angels tilted their heads confused.

Asmodeus almost choked on his water, he completely forgot to shed light on that.“Oh right! I had tea. Okay so you’ve met Lord Diavolo right? Tall, handsome, a bit of a boomer humor..would gladly let him step on you?”

_I mean even I can’t lie about that._

Her ears burned admitting it out loud, especially surrounded by other people.“Y-yes the prince right?”

“Yep! So..it’s not confirmed or anything but… we suspect he is..” How did he word this in the presence of angels? “Bashing horns with our brother~.” Simeon dropped his food and put his hands over the child's ears, if Luke went back to their realm repeating any of this it would surely be his last supper.

Too little too late and now the innocent was asking all sorts of questions, peering up at his elder with inquisitive eyes.“Huh? Bashing horns? Are they fighting? Is it because he’s stepping on people? Why are they fighting? And why is it secret?”

“Just eat your food Luke, pay no attention they’re uhhh..yes, fighting.”  
  
“Oh whoops, sorry Simeon.” Asmodeus gave an apologetic smile, he wasn’t exactly used to being PG friendly.

Em scratched her head, there were six brothers so that didn’t exactly narrow it down. “U-uhh which one, the shut in? I-is that why he’s never around?”

_It’d make sense… being in a secret relationship with royalty, you’d have to sneak around._

Not so subtle shrill laughter rang throughout the cafeteria, a few stray demons snapping their heads around in shock before hissing, it was just Asmodeus screaming about everything again. 

“LEVI AND DIAVOLO?! HAHAHAHAHA!” Asmodeus had to wipe tears away from his eyes, that had been too funny. Mammon, Beel and Satan also had a chuckle about that though, albeit more discreetly. “Sorry..that really tickled me. No..not Levi, he’s more interest in..pillows...don’t ask.” He scowled, rolling his head. Oh he couldn’t wait to gross her about Levi in future. “No, Lucifer. We’re sure of it.”

The angel coughed to remind them he was still there cupping Luke's ears tightly. He would pray extra hard tonight after hearing such talk. But even Solomon was all ears now, not saying anything, just observing from the shadows again. Taking everything in.

_Pillows? Wait…_

_No they couldn’t mean body pillows..right?_

_I can’t exactly ask because it’ll be even worse if it’s not what they mean._

“We’re not just sure of it. Next time you see those two together you’ll know. You could cut the sexual tension in the air with a knife.” The fourth oldest said calmly.

“Honestly I kinda wish you’d let her think Levi and Dia were doin the horizontal monster mash Asmo, it woulda been payback for that creep headbuttin’ me last week!” The tanned brother crunched the last of his scorpion kebab with purpose. He was always throwing hands with his younger brother, they refused to be civil and he couldn’t help but be a little thankful the otaku was barely showing his face these days, and he’d never admit it but he was also worried deep down. 

“Umm..forgive me for saying this but it sounds like you all don’t really get along with him, he’s your brother though. I..don’t have any siblings but shouldn’t you be a bit more..supportive of each other?” Em threw her head down and hid behind her bangs, on the off chance they all got offended.

Beel smiled, he definitely liked this human, she spoke honestly even though sometimes a bit reluctant to do so. “You’re right Em. We should all get along with each other and stop talking about everyone behind their backs...right guys?”   
  
"If ya knew him Em, ya wouldn't be standin' up for that freak. Trust me!" 

He and the seventh sibling, Belphegor had been the closest with Leviathan, even as angels they’d make time for each other. Of course the deeper into their sins roles they became, the bond had faded over time. Beel could no longer stand being without food for too long without trashing the place, Levi’s prized aquarium and figurine collection was too precious to risk that rage and so he stopped inviting him over.

“I get along with all of you perfectly fine, however me ever exchanging a smile with that jackass will never happen. Over my dead body….but I’d prefer it to be his.” Satan remarked with conviction. Everyone else seemed to fawn over this girl already, but he wasn’t convinced and he’d make sure to test her will in the library.

“Can I ask what makes him a creep?”

The second brother had a lot to say about this. “Pfff what doesn’t these days? He’s obsessed with those stupid cartoons, thinks his pillow is his girlfriend or wife or whatever and constantly spends his grimm on those doll things, books and games. The little nerd headbutted me when I just wanted to look at how pretty they were! Oh and there was that time I walked in on him in front of the mirror dressed up like- h-he’s weird, kay? That’s all you need to know.”

Beel, Satan and Asmodeus all facepalmed, crossing their arms suspiciously at him about the headbutting incident. Meanwhile Em felt her heart almost stop, Solomon narrowed his eyes sensing the girl's uneasiness.

_I definitely can’t tell them about my husbando! Or my manga!_

“Uhh but apart from all those things he’s still a nice guy! He’s super smart when it comes to technology and..” The glutton started to struggle, he hadn’t exactly spent much time with his brother in a while, but the others were already souring her perception of the otaku before she even got the chance to meet him. “And.. come on guys, help me out.”

Satan snapped his finger. “He’s incredibly passionate when it comes to the things he likes.” And the others nodded, they weren’t total assholes after all. "There's just...so much to him I can't remember it all?"

“I-I see.” She gulped.

“Yeah but chances are you’ll be dead and buried by the time he next comes out of that hole. So just eat up.”

That was far enough, and Simeon released the child with a small frown. “Mammon, could you please not talk to Em like that. It’s rude to make fun of people's mortality.” 

“Y-yeah...sorry Em.” The demon apologized half-heartedly.

With that disciplinary everyone trailed off from the topic to more generic small talk and finished their meal. With one more short lesson following lunch, it was finally time to return home.

* * *

“See you tomorrow!” The Purgatory Hall residents had taken a shine to her and exchanged contact numbers. Em stifled a yawn waving them all off. “Oh and uhh thanks for the numbers Solomon!”

“Sneezin’ again Em? Tomorrow ya better wear a damn sweater or somethin’.” Beel, Asmodeus and Satan all pressed their lips together to laugh. Mammon really was sticking with this joke huh.

“Man I’m starving..the first day back is always the toughest.” The hulking demon held his stomach, trying to contain the gurgling and growls coming from it.   
  
_He’s hungry again?! But lunch was only two hours ago!_

“Beel, if you were one of those damn video game characters Levi talked about all the time I’m pretty sure that would be your catchphrase. Meanwhile I guess mine would be I’m thirsty? Only I don’t mean for a drink~”.

“We have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about Asmodeus.” Satan said coldly. “And frankly, I don’t care.”

The brothers hadn’t been lying when they said the first day of school would be rough on her in more ways than one. After holding in her fears all day due to knowing the demon brothers would protect her, it was starting to really sink in that her daily life would include so many glares, looks of malice and potential threats to her very existence.

As the large iron gates came into view again, a refined looking man bowed to who Em assumed was Lucifer at the main entrance, and the stranger passed the group. He wore a matching RAD uniform to everyone else only there was a white waistband instead of a belt and his hair was a dark green with long ombre bangs on one side.

The man bowed gracefully to them with a warm smile. “Ahhh you must be Emilia. I am Barbatos, the prince's faithful servant. Lord Diavolo sends his apologies for not being able to welcome you on your first day in person, his majesty was busy in meetings all day. I’ve just dropped off the rest of your human world belongings, another apology for the delay some of it was rather heavy and there were no courier demons available last night so I was only able to bring the necessities.”

“My human world belongings?” Sweat began to collect under her wavy bangs, was this everything from her bedroom in the human realm? Diavolo had reassured her she’d feel right at home here in the Devildom.

“I have a list here if you’d like to check that everything is accounted for.” The demon brothers' full attention was on them as Barbatos handed her an almost never ending roll of paper, they inched closer for a peek, dying to know more about this mysterious human.

“But I’m afraid I must be on my way. Lord Diavolo gets lonely without some company after a short time, plus it’s almost time for his evening tea. It was nice to see you again everyone, and I’m pleased to make your acquaintance Miss Cartel.” The polite demon once again bowed and took his leave, disappearing into the night.

“O-oh thank you!” She called out after him and quickly pocketed the paper before anyone got a glimpse. “Well I guess I’d better get back to my room and sort all my stuff out...t-thanks guys.” Her foot barely moved before Satan spoke.

“Oh, will you not be coming with me to the library after all?” He pouted, those emerald eyes expanding to the size of saucers like a cat begging for food.  
  
 _Crap, I forgot all about that...but I need to hide things and check what actually arrived._

Mammon misread the girl and assumed it was fatigue. “Ahh ya probably tired after today right? Well I ain’t surprised after all the trouble ya put us through. But yeah..go on..get some rest, damn humans are weak.”

“Ah forgive me. I didn’t realize your body was so weak. But I suppose that makes sense, humans are fragile creatures and we forget sometimes. We can take a raincheck on the library, but I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

She made her escape and bid them all a premature goodnight, missing Asmodeus saying that he might drop in on her later and quickly hurried towards her bedroom.

As expected of the Demon Prince, it was a carbon copy of her bedroom back in the human realm. Posters of various 2D men littered the once bare walls, An army of figurines decorated the newly built wooden bookcase already filled to the brim with games and manga of various genres. And her prized possessions sat on her royal purple bedding. 

A large tank of a man wearing almost nothing rested against the wall, not a real man of course. It was a body pillow of her husbando Jogaro Kijo from Jojo's Excellent Adventure and another smaller pillow of him in a victory pose. 

_My beloved Jogaro! I need to hide him if anyone knocks, I should be able to just throw him under the bed...but what about the rest of my things. The posters...they’ll have to come down, I can hide my figures in my suitcase along with my Zwitch. The PC...that can stay, I’ll say I use it for harmless browsing.  
  
It might seem a little over the top, but I'm so used to people judging me for liking anime and the way they kept talking about their own brother... _

Quickly changing out of her uniform and into a grey graphic long sleeve shirt and jeans, Em rolled up the sleeves and began carefully de-weebing her den. Some time passed and she didn’t notice her DDD going off, finally the deed was done. Everything she could hide was gone, all that remained was the body pillow. 

“Just a quick break…and then I’ll double check.” She let herself fall back and bounced on the bed hugging her tall, dark and handsome man whilst reaching for the phone.

**You have new messages.**

Diavolo: Hello Em! Barbatos told me you ran into him, I trust everything from your human home is there? If there’s anything missing let me know and I’ll take care of it!.

Em: Good evening Diavolo! Thank you so much for going through all this trouble, but I have to ask..how did you do all of this? 

Diavolo: Hahah well I am the Prince, I can do anything...mostly! :D

Em: Oh and nothing is missing, you’ve got the details right down to the tea stain on my desk. I hope it wasn’t a pain to buy everything.

Diavolo: Haha well that is your exact room, the contents of it. Barbatos did a little spell on your room back in the human realm and transported everything here! 

Em: Wait seriously?! O.O 

Em: Well..tell Barbatos I’m extremely grateful! ^^’’ And thank you again!

Diavolo: My apologies I have to go now, I have a meeting with Lucifer and must get ready.

Diavolo: Take care and I’ll arrange a meeting between us soon :)

_Hmm yeah, I’m getting vibes. He's excited to see him._

Em: Oh! Goodnight, and enjoy your meeting! (ᵔᴥᵔ)

She scrolled down and noticed another message.  
  


Asmodeus: I’m bored so I’ll be coming to see you as soon as this face mask comes off!~

_OH NO. When!_

Em leapt off the bed and grabbed Jogaru, hurling him into the space under the frame before giving her room one last glance. It looked empty as hell and boring, but she was safe for another day.

“Knock knock, guess who~”  
  
 _That was a very close call._

After checking to see if her heart was still in good condition after that little panic attack Em scraped the door open a crack, greeted with an extremely wide smile and excited eyes. “H-hey Asmo..whats up?”

“What’s up? Are you going to let me in or do I have to beg~”  
  
“Uhh..s-sure, c-come in.” There was probably no harm in it now everything was hidden right? That’s what she wanted to think. It seemed like after spending a full day around him, she forgot one little detail about him. This was the Avatar of Lust.

As soon as she gave the all clear he made a beeline straight to her dresser, opening and closing things like the world's most enthusiastic mail sorter. He made a variety of noises that ranged from disappointment, impressed and surprised as he raided her outfits. “I have to say, I wasn’t expecting you to be into the goth look. But you do suit it~”  
  
“O-oh, what sort of things did you expect?” She asked, nervously.  
  
“Well nothing really, we don’t know anything about you… that’s why I came here to do a bit of research so to speak.” 

“A-ahh.. W-well I’m just your average normi-al girl. Nothing really to know.” 

“See...I want to believe that but you’re hiding something aren’t you?” He crept closer to her and the pink tones in his eyes turned almost neon. After a few seconds of awkward eye contact he groaned and stamped his foot. “Ugh! My charm power doesn’t work on you! And you’re just.. a normal human? I doubt that. I even tried in class earlier today but it didn’t work. How, how can you be immune to my charms, my looks? Am I not beautiful to you?”

“I-I uhhh..y-you are..?” She made the mistake of sitting on her bed, shuffling her feet in front of where the offending merchandise was hiding. “What..do you want to know about me...why?”

“Why? Because I’m curious! You’re going to be here for a whole year so of course I want to get to know you better. And maybe we could..get to know each other's bodies too…” He winked suggestively and swooned whilst scooching closer on the bed. Em moved further away and forced herself to stand up.

“I-I’m flattered Asmodeus but I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”

“Oh? That’s fine with me. I’m a no strings attached kind of demon.” He stayed sitting and watched her like a hawk, the charm power really was having no effect, but he was respectful to the point of knowing when it wasn’t just playing hard to get. 

“Well...if you change your mind, you know where to find me.” As the demon stood up his own DDD fell out of his jacket pocket, hitting the heel of his foot...sliding under the bed. “Ugh these stupid pockets, I told the fashion designer I needed more room! One sec..it’s under your b-”

_No!_

“NO!” She lurched forward.

“Huh?” He wasn’t expecting the loud volume from such a small creature, it took him back a bit.  
  
“I-I mean, no. I’ll g-get it. You’re the g-guest after all!” The hospitable human’s heart almost gave out as she leant down to grab the phone for him, but Asmodeus giggled.

“Oh there’s really no need, I don’t mind getting on my hands and knees now and then~.” 

There was no stopping it. She cursed herself and Barbatos for thinking this was something that she needed to bring. The lustful demon went quiet, very quiet as he retrieved his phone. He’d seen it, there was no way he hadn’t but as he got back up and stretched his back, no insults came.

_Why isn’t he saying anything?_

“Well! I came here to see if you wanted some Asmo fun but you turned me down...damn. I’ve not had that happen in a verrrrrrrry long time. I guess I’ll try to show you my better sides~” The small framed demon faked a yawn and excused himself. “I’ll let you get some rest now, but don’t think I won’t be prying more about your life.”

“O-okay...A-asmo...y-you saw it didn’t you?”

“Hmm? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He smiled innocently at her, acting aloof. “Anyway good night!”

With that, Asmodeus let himself out and walked casually down the stairs picking up more speed the further away he got. 

“Well? Is she a spy or somethin’?” Mammon pushed his glasses up so they rested on his hair, eager to know what his brother had found out. It had been Satan's idea in the end, to ambush her when she least expected it but the sultry brother had brushed the suspicions off and gotten lost for time, which ironically ended up helping Em. 

“Umm no..not a spy aha. But there’s...two of them.”

Beelzebub revealed himself from behind a pillar and munched loudly on a bag of chips, not exactly stealthy. “Two of them? There’s two Ems?”

Asmodeus let out a very long, defeated sigh. “I don’t know if she’s as bad as him but...Em is like Levi. I dropped my phone and under the bed there was a very sexy man pillow..topless. But same anime style.”

The second brother had a look of disgust. “I knew there was somethin’ up with her!” 

“Interesting...I did notice whenever her hobbies were brought up she would go quiet. But why did she feel the need to go to such lengths?”  
  
“Well..you guys were constantly calling Levi a creep and a weirdo, is it really any surprise why she thought that? Plus Mammon..how you reacted just now.”

The blonde was baffled. “That's...a good point Beel. Are you feeling alright? You don’t normally give insight like that.”

“I may like my food Satan but I’m not a mindless zombie.” Beel felt very guilty, he hadn’t talked badly about the otaku behind his back like the others but he hadn’t tried to stop it either. “So what should we do, go and tell her we’re sorry and we really do love Levi?” 

Smelling the possibility of a budding romance between two weir- people, Asmodeus smirked proudly for his keen senses and began typing.

Asmodeus: Levi~~~ 

Asmodeus: Are you awake? <3

Leviathan: Asmo…ಠ_ಠ

Leviathan: What? I’m busy. 

Leviathan: And what’s with the heart? Gross.

Asmodeus: I’ve got some really...interesting tea for you to sip on.

Leviathan: I really really don’t care about Diavolo and Lucifer, what I do care about is why you’re interrupting me during a binge re-watch of Stains;Door! Do you not understand how much of a masterpiece this is?! I don’t think you have enough brainpower to actually comprehend how many times this show can blow your mind, the plot is 11/10, the voice acting is top notch and every single character is likeable, and in modern day anime that is so hard to do!

Asmodeus: k

Leviathan: DON’T K ME! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

He winced looking down, Levi really needed to work on that temper if he was going to get a girlfriend.

Asmodeus: Levi. Do you want to know or not? I promise you’ll like what I have to say~

Leviathan: If I say yes will you leave me alone?

Asmodeus: Yes. You have my word, although I think you might actually leave your room for once after I tell you.

Leviathan: Okay stop stalling..if this were an anime or a manga I bet as soon as you say it the episode would end now...freaking cliffhangers.

Asmodeus: Em is an otaku.

Leviathan: Who?

Asmodeus: The human girl. The one staying with us.

Leviathan: What? Seriously...?

Asmodeus: She has a body pillow of a guy hidden under her bed and the walls all still had sticky tape on them...probably posters right?

Leviathan: Haha very funny... are you all in on this prank?

Asmodeus: Levi. I’m not joking. Does this beautiful face look like it’s joking right now?

Asmodeus sent a photo.

Leviathan: Can you give me two minutes?

Asmodeus: Take all the time you need~

* * *

For the first time in his life, the anime could wait. This called for an actual face to face conversation. He gulped dryly as he glanced around the hallway spotting three of his siblings leaning against one of the giant dragon statues, looking like a bunch of loitering teenagers up to no good. 

Levi rushed over to them, his hands in his shawl jacket pocket and headphones around his neck as always. “I swear if you dragged me out of here for a prank, you’re all dead.”

“It’s not a prank! I promise! I..unfortunately couldn’t get much proof but here.” The detective demon reached into his other pocket and held out a small dendroid figurine of Lee from the Attack on Giants anime. 

The otaku let out a long gasp. “Wooooaaahhh!” That was limited merchandise. As a fellow lover of the show he couldn’t help but show disdain for his brother for stealing it from her room, this was something he expected from Mammon. 

After recollecting his excitement that maybe he finally found a friend in this world, he laughed to himself and flicked his bangs. “S-so..why did you think I’d care? Because I don’t. Big deal she likes Attack on Giant. Even normies watch that nowadays, it’s one of the most well known anime in the world for Mephisto’s sake.”

Asmodeus and Satan held their hands on their hips giving him a face that said it all. Was he seriously trying to pull the tsundere act now? After decades of whining and complaining about how lonely he was and how Ruri-chan and Henry were the only ones who truly understood him, Diavolo had practically delivered him prime waifu material on a silver platter. 

That gave him another idea. The cupid grabbed Levi’s sweaty palm, hoping he’d just been playing with an actual controller and not anything else and popped the figure in his hand. Levi furrowed his brow. “Why are you giving this to me? It’s not mine.”

“Exactly. So go take it back to her. Blame me, I’ll take the fall on this one, I don’t mind~”

“And why should I? What are you plotting..” The gamer narrowed his piercing amber eyes. 

“Ugh does it really matter?! I’m trying to help you!”

“Help me how? By stealing the humans things?” 

“Levi you might be older than me but I swear to Hades himself I will strangle you...I’m trying to get you a damn girlfriend here!”

The shut in instantly recoiled, his free hand covering his face to conceal the blush. “What makes you think I’d ever get involved with a h-human? Otaku or not I’m already spoken for!”

Here we go again, the spiel about how his body pillow was an actual woman and she was the only one for him. The brothers had to wonder if Em talked about her own man pillow like this too. 

“Eh I wouldn’t say no to her if she approached me.” Mammon shrugged casually, causing some very shocked looks from everyone. “What? I mean come on.. She’s kinda cute for a human, not that I’d date one anytime soon.”

“Wow see Levi, you’ve already got competition. Same as me, the other human is a bit of a flirt around her as well~.”

The purple haired demons facepalm echoed through the House. “You guys aren’t going to let me go back to my room peacefully are you?” Everyone but Beelzebub shook their heads in unison. Even Satan was finding himself pretty invested in this, it was almost like a roleplay session for one of his romance novels. 

“I thought that was the case.” Levi turned on his heel and began to make a run for it but Asmodeus knew these tricks all too well by now and grabbed his jacket tightly. 

“If you don’t come quietly something bad might happen to your jacket~” He found a loose thread and pinched at it gently. 

“N-no! Stop! What are you doing?! Do you know how I love this jacket? It'd take forever for me to fix!” His brother didn’t let up and began to pull, Levi’s eyes went wide with fear. “FINE I’LL GO.” And he grasped the figure tightly in his hand. 

“Good boy.” Apparently that earned a brotherly hair ruffle, which just pissed the otaku off even more. “It’s the second floor, opposite Lucifer's office. Have fun~ Oh and Levi...watch that temper. She’s shy.”

Beel cheered him on, not knowing exactly what was supposed to be happening but read the room. “Good luck bro!” Mammon and Satan almost cried tears of joy and blessed the Demon Prince for his RNG. Was this torturous maddening Ruri-chan arc soon to be over?

No, because romance didn’t work like that. Had they forgotten that it took two to tango? Feelings needed to be involved, the girl had been there barely a day. Sure Levi meeting her face to face was a start but the end was nowhere near in sight. 

And even after all that was said and done, if either of them were to grow fond of the other there was still the final boss to defeat, Ruri-chan.

Back in the corridor leading to the girls room, their brother was working up a sweat trying to decide the best way to introduce himself. He had already said via text that she’d never meet him yet here he was on Day one in the flesh. 

If he was honest with himself, he’d only said it to sound cooler and more mysterious, knowing for a fact his brothers would all talk about him behind his back every chance they got. 

Trembling a little at the anxiety of meeting someone new for the first time, without anyone to back him up or help Levi tapped lightly on the door cradling the figurine in his fist.

“Asmo? I-I can explain myself I-'' The door swung open and they both looked equally terrified of each other. “Oh..y-you’re not..Asmo.” Em shrank into her shirt as the strange demon mirrored her stance.

“N-no I’m Levi...” His voice cracked already, how embarrassing as far as first impressions went. “Uhh Asmo actually took something from you and I’m here to give it back, I guess.”

“Levi...” The name sounded familiar, and then it hit her. “LEVIATHAN!” She shouted at the top of her lungs and the man in question became an ostrich, his neck shrinking into his shirt. “Oh I really wasn’t expecting to meet you, e-especially not today!”

He studied her expression, the strange human actually sounded happy to meet him. That was a first. And relating to what Mammon and Asmo said. He thought her eyes were interesting, blue with green hues and a brown mark but they weren’t purples like Ruri-chans. Her hair was black, long and wavy, not brown and thin like Ruri-chans. The comparisons went on and on the more he looked. She had nice doll-like skin, but Ruri’s was much prettier, her waist and breast size? Nothing compared to his waifu’s curves.

“Hah yeah. Well, surprise. Sorry I don’t really live up to anyone's expectations. Anyway, here’s your figurine...”

_Wait, my what now?_

She squeaked out a reply. “M-my what now?” And looked down at his hand. “H-how the hell did yo- Oh. Now I know why he was rooting around in my clothes, to be honest I'm a little relieved it’s a figure...” She laughed nervously, playing with her hair as her palms grew sweaty.

Looking uncomfortable and not at all noticing the girls body language, Levi took her clammy hand making her turn beetroot and placed the figure gently in it. “Anyway I’m a bit busy, I was actually watching Stains;Door before those idiots- I-I mean b-before I found Asmo with your Lee figurine.”

“Oh I love Stains;Door! Who’s your favourite character? I mean I love them all but there’s a special place in my heart for Kirisu...for well obvious reasons hehe.”

The aloof facade broke, the girl was too nice to act like an ass with and he found himself fangasming over the characters with her. “Oh she’s awesome! I’ve seen a looooot of anime but she’s gotta be one of the best written girls by far! But honestly speaking I know it’s cliche but Ron is my _favourite_ favourite. The guy is just..so tragic but..real, you know?”

The two continued talking about the show for quite some time, never moving from the corridor but after a while the demon otaku kept yawning and realized he had only had three hours of sleep. “Ugh well..I hate to leave but I really need some sleep. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was a night owl.”

“O-oh I see.. Well have a goodnight! And thank you so much for bringing Lee back, that cost me a fortune.”  
  
“No worries, but a bit of advice? Hide your stuff better. Especially if Mammon gets in your room, he tries to sell my stuff all the time for a bit of grimm.” 

“He...steals things? W-well thanks for the warning. And it was great to finally meet you.”

“Uhh wait. Em was it?” The shut in fidgeted awkwardly before scratching the back of his head. “Y-you shouldn’t have to pretend to be a normie for those guys..b-but if you wanted to talk more about the better things in life then I guess I’m not totally against you messaging me.” He coughed and began to move back, if he didn’t tear himself away now he’d be talking all night, and even if she did like anime the girl still needed sleep.  
  
“T-that sounds great! See you, Levi.” She waved even though he was already facing the opposite direction, speed walking back to his room.

After reluctantly saying their goodbyes, Em closed the door slowly, sat on her bed soaking in everything that had happened and still exhausted from the de-weebifying earlier. 

_I didn’t even have time to set up my PC.._

The exhausted girl reached for the body pillow and squeezed him tightly. “Jogaru that guy…”

And screamed into it.

Levi’s first impression of her had been nothing but comparing her to his beloved Ruri-chan and platonic thoughts, mostly.

Ems first impression on the other hand...

_W-wow._

_When I said to myself yesterday that I was in an otome game? I wasn’t lying..he was...gorgeous._

_My nose isn’t bleeding is it? Because I swear the moment I saw him all the blood rushed to my head._

_His voice even cracked, that’s so cute!_

_Of course there’s no way I’d ever date a demon, but sweet merciful Tartarus even his taste in anime is top tier._

_These brothers are going to be the death of me._

Perhaps the cupid demon did somehow know what he was doing after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In no way is this fic meant to be taken seriously, I'm treating it like a parody of the main one and have tweaked Ems personality a little bit.

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas to the loyal and any new readers of my longfic in Levi's POV. 
> 
> I started writing this when things got a bit difficult to plan with the other fic, and I realized I was still quite new to writing when I started the other and may have missed a few opportunities along the way. So this allowed me to stretch my writing muscles as well as focus on different aspect and routes that were missed or not expanded upon.
> 
> In no way will this take over priority, I'll update this only when I feel like working on it, but it probably won't be a billion chapters LOL  
> Anyway I'll stop rambling! I hope you enjoyed! Oh and if you haven't checked out the main fic, I promise it's a hell of a read.


End file.
